Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance

I love wearing no eye make up so I can wipe my eyes all I want.


Guys.I have had a weird last couple of days, and i figured they are blog worthy!
Hurray!


So.

Yesterday. (monday)
for some reason I have supppper irritable around 1 -5 in the afternoon.
Its like fricken clockwork.
Unfortunalty that is the time I am at rehearsal.
(side note. I just realized im supposed to be memorized by tomorrow. oh ef.)
anywho
So i go to rehearsal
And....
(this is one of those times I want to talk bad about someone...but its a bad idea....)
Ok, lets just say. We have worked really hard on something, like....9 hours had been devoted to this ... and then in got scrapped. And i was way frustrated. And people were really hard to work with. And i had zero patience that day.
But i try and stay professional. Cuz i want to get in Rent. Ha.
SO i had had (double, yeah.) a really awful rehearsal and i just wanted to get out of there.
And then frank, the choreographer asked us(3) Proteans to stay.
I knew we needed it, so i stayed.
And we learned all new choreography, and it was super good.
BUT NOW I AM SORE AS ALL FRICKENNNNN CRAP.
but seriously the new choreography is waaaaaayy sick. so good. 
Usually we get out at 5:30.
I didnt leave till 7.
Which wouldnt have been a problem
But i had plans with Josh to go meet his father and see his precious little house.
So, since i am emotionally unstable, i was like crazy stressed and loosing my mind.
Im not proud of it.
But i knew I had to pull it together cuz i cant let Josh see me in such a wreck.
So i pulled it together.


And then i met his dad.
Hes way chill.
And his house is way chill.
And i like him.


READY FOR THIS ? ITS A GUSHY "MY BOYFRIEND IS THE BEST" GIRL POST.
I feel like im loosing followers already
Dont care.
So cute.
SO.
I got to his house.
And i am sick. 
I have a little cold.
And so my little nose is all stuffed.
And you know what that boy did for me?
He made me Emergen-C.
And i drank it. And he stroked my hair while I blew into a hankerchief.
Like who does that?
Ad then he laughed how cute my little "struggling to breathe-nose" sounds are.
and then he told me i was perfect.
and then i farted in his closet.
and then gave me a lot of forehead kisses.
and then we fell asleep together.


AND THEN HE WOKE ME UP AT 4 IN THE MORNING AND WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING. 
not really.
I tried to think of an excuse to use on my parents when they called me in an hour asking why i hadn't come home.
And i couldn't think of any.
So i woke up and went home.
And did my homework
at 4 30 in the morning
and then went to sleep to the sound of my parents alarm clock going off.




Today
I woke up like 4 minutes before i had to leave for school.
And then.
I went to school.
And sat next to the 5 friends i have in my psych class.
and went to communication (dating 101)
and then went to LAMEEEEE cinematography.
and then went to Eng. 101 - where i got a A on my first college essay. (awwwwww yeiiii)


And then.
I went to go look for my good friend Nathan in auditions for "the infernal machine" 
So, i walked in to the little doorway portal.....pocket.....space




Dont loose me here...


So , there is a lobby set of doors, that lead to the actual theater doors, so there is like....a little pocket between thees doors, ya dig ?


So im in the little pocket.
I am very concerned with interrupting, and i dont know how cool Dressler is with strangers randomly walking into  auditions...so i was a little hesitant. 
But, i heard applause and opened up the RIGHT door to peak in. 
I see my little lover (josh) in a seat, with a mystery women sitting next to him -so i cant sit there- and then i see NO Nate. 
So i figure, I cant find him, i will just go home.
So i close the door, and right as i close the RIGHT door
The LEFT door FLLLLLYS INTO MY FACE.
And pushes me back into a random row of metal clangy things, so the worlds loudest metal clangy noise echos throughout this dead silent audition.


And the door closes shut real fast.
And i stand there laughing,waiting to apologize to whoever just slammed a door in my face.
And...no one comes.
So i get really freaked and scampered away.


And right when im out of view , a friend of mine, Peter says "Who did i just hit with the door?"
And i just giggled and ran out.




So thats my funny/thisonlyhappensinmovies/ironiccuziwastryingtobequietandiwasloud story number 1


number 2 
Taylor dislikes waiting for me to get our of class ( I have 1 more class than he does ,and we carpool)
So he has my dad pick him up and i drive home alone.


Well.
We took the Cadi to school.
Things that are relevant to this story about the Cadi.

• its like driving a cruise ship.
• it smells like....iraq
• only the back right speaker works
• the driver seat doesn't adjust
• the driver seat has a literal bucket propping the seat up

So. I get in it. Its like laying down.
I can press the gas peddle with my big toe only. 
So im like.
Eff. Imma die!!!!




But then. I had the smart idea to set my backback behind me.
And then i fit perfectly.


We're so poor its cute! 


Anyway.
Racap:
School is good.
Play is good.
Boyfriend is good.




Things are going good.


OH.
We have time for one more story.


I tell my parents a lot about my life.
Pretty much anything im not ashamed of (im not ashamed of a lot) and is after the fact so they cant do anything anyway.


So i told my dad i wasnt home untill 4 30 cuz i fell asleep at joshs'
...(is that right? josh's.... joshes....?)
And then i said CUZ WE WERE TIRED FROM HAVING SO MUCH SEX.
and my dad laughed. and said thats usually how it works.


But now he thinks that I am acting out and im gonna have sex. 
And he said the only way i can be in Rent is if i go to church every sunday.


The moral of this story is I can no longer tell my parents as much because it only leads to suspicion and church down my throat.




So instead i have decided to sneak around!




OK THATS ALL BYE. 

You went into the kitchen cupboard got yourself another hour, and you gave half of it to me.

So. its 3 in the morning.
And i woke up at 7 in the morning
and went to bed around 3 the last night.
so...
im like.
jacked.


I am atempting to write a blog before my dear friend Cat gets here.
 "3 in the morning, Brit thats preposterous!?!!?"


Yeah. it happens.


Dude.
Tonight.
I was hungry
so i was like
"lets go to applebees" ( cuz they have cheep apitizers - even tho it was no where close cheep apitizer time)
So celest and i went, and we were like....
Wait, we hate applebees,
this is hella nasty.
So we asked the waitress"do you have chipotle honey chicken crispers like they do at Chilli's?"
And shes all...."no...?"
So i was like "alright, we're goin to chilli's, im sure we woulda had a lot of fun tho."
And then you know what ?
We went to Chillis.
And it was fricken delicious.


And then I went and saw my man.
I like him more every time i see him.
He's my favorite.




Oh, by the way, it isnt 3 in the morning anymore.


Its like...3 days later.
Im such a busy peach.


So. some of you may have seen this picture.

It makes me happy.


Not only is this our first official picture, there is an awesome black guy in the back.


His name is Lou.
He is the waffle house cook.


And that brings me to my next subject.


Waffle House.
I could talk about this place for hours.
BUT , i will instead make a bullet list. ( I have heard you guys like those. )

• Its crazy cheep.
• worlds best hashbrowns.( i eat mine with syrup. JIGGA DONT JUDGE.)
• way good waffels.( i like mine with chocolate chips and pecans and then whip creame on top)
• Open 24 hours
• AND A JUKEBOX!
• Something fun/weirddddd always happens. ALWAYS.

So, we always go there at 2 in the morning.


And last week Cat and Chels and I went. and we met lou (refer to picture)
And i was being a weirdo(myself) and he was all laughin at me


He's like "What is that girl on?"
And cat goes "Shes always like this."


I truly am.
I dont even know what i would be like if i took any kind of stimulant.
uncontrollable.
Its just a bad idea all around.
Anywho.


So we met Lou,
So this weekend, i was like, lets go again.


AND THEN
we met Serenity.


Serenity and Lou together, are the best.


It was a whole lotta fun.
I told her that i think chelsys boyfriend is cheating on her
and she goes "What ya gon' do aboutit ?"
In that awesome black person voice.
So now i say "what ya gon' do aboutit" all the time.
You can too.


"My cars outa gas"


"what ya gon' do aboutit?"




See, totally applicable to everyday life.


Louie does magic.
Black magic.


SHAKAKAWWWNNNN.






Catherine and I went for a run this morning.
It was nice.
And now i guess my family is on a diet.
Im pro.
Not ..... Im not saying Im a pro at dieting, im just saying....im just saying I AM FOR dieting.




geez. its not like im cocky.




Have you ever gotten free pizza and Ice cream and then watched the princess bride.


You should do it.


CAN YOU BELIEVE JOSH HASNT SEEN THE PRINCESS BRIDE!?!?!


But then again, I've never seen Ghostbusters....




so thats fair.




Also, Josh thinks toy story 2 is the worst.( I used to think  2 was the best, but now its a tie between 1 and 2)
I deffinitly think 3 was awwwwful. so bad. so terrible.
SO mull that over.
Feel free to leave your opinion.



Have you guys noticed I use the right your/you're now ?
Gotta keep my man happy, shoot.





Random: I told my dad i have a blog, and people love it and im famous and all that


And you know what he says to me ?
"Im sure I have more followers than you."
What the crap ?!?!












k,THATS ALL BYE I LOVE YOU.

take that love you made, and stick into some, someone elses heart, pumping someone elses blood.

I am currently eating drumstick ice cream.
Yes.




School:
all chrisis' averted.
serioulsy, fricken answer to my prayers.
I dunno how it all pulled together.
But i mean, there will be more disasters, so....
Lemme give you a breakdown of my weekend

• first exam of psych
• find an organization to accept my group of 4 for service learning( we have an unbelievably impossible schedule.) and then write up a contract and turn it in
• pretend i know what to do in cinema
• write my first essay for eng. 101
• go to work
• manage my life

So...as you can see it was stressful.




*eats more ice cream


Play:
Still coming along very well.
Remember anoyying boy ? Well he's not too anoyying now.
But....give it time.


The show is from Oct. 20 - 29!
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=194172287321270
Come see a lot of funny people be super funny.
and me be a boy.






OH
and im making a lot of friends.
shout out to my girl katie and my boy anthony for the sweet facebook video




Lemme just clear up the rumor, that yes you may say "douche bag" on my page.
In fact its encouraged.


*im just looking around for the peanuts.(in the ice cream,. stick with me.)






So, the show is a crazy amount of fun now.
Im glad.


Life:
Oh my gosh
I had all this random drama vommit on my life
The sucky thing is i saw it coming for a while now.
And i was like,,,,what the eff?


Luckily, i have way cool friends that leave cookies and love notes on my porch that i find at midnight that make everything better.


Im glad i have them. The day without them was rough.
*refer to my ben and jerrys post.




But now im eating drumstick ice cream, which is NOT my depression ice cream. Its my happy time ice cream.




Dude.
I always hated when girls would get a boyfriend, and just drop her friends.
But.
I guess its like unavoidable.
Its a bummer when you realize you arnt better than other people, and what they do actually makes sense.
"I guess this is growing up"






But i really like my boyfriend.


and hes a way good driver.
impressively so.


Right now the hardest part of our relationship is me having  to correct my "your/you're's"
We had a practice fight last night just to test it out.
I feel like i really established how intimidating i am. So. 
that should come in handy in the long run.








oh my freakig gosh.
Now im eating hot and spicy cheeze its.
guess who is going to gain 19 ibs ?




"oh you've already got a man."
YEAH BUT IM NOT GONNA JUST LET MYSELF GO.


shiz.


Somedays i really wish i had no commitments here and i could just fly to spokane and moscow and live the dream life.

I was a little girl, alone in my little world.

So this is just a quick procrastinating post.




I dislike star wars a lot. Like honestly. Dont bring it up, i get really passionate, and therefore offensive.


Also, have you noticed, if you are avoiding or have an issue with one of your friends on FB, FB ALWAYS has them all over everything.


How u no my lyfe FB?


I am super over-whelmed with college work.
and like work work.
and any other kind of work.


But its goin alright.




Last night, i told Josh i was stressed about school, and he helped me with my school work.
See, you should like him too.
He's a keeper.




Hmm whatelse can i randomly say before i have to go do psych homework.




Speaking of my little cutie-pie.
He reads my blog.
ISNT THAT SO CRAZY.
When he told me i just said "Shut up shut up shut up"
For like 20 minuets.


Luckaly, he hasnt gotten to the older ones when im creepin on him.
So. thats a plus.


Anyway.....I Think thats it....

If you can't feed your baby, than dont have a baby.

I'm glad my admiration for cold  milk has returned.

Guys. 

This is the post you have been waiting for.

Very Juicy.

But lets start off with some small talk.

Summer is fading, which makes me uncontrollably excited for winter hats.

And, like Christmas,and all that.

(I just want hair extensions for Christmas.and consequently to conform. but thats it.) 

I LOVE MY WINTER HATS.

(Insert pic of me in one.)

There it is.

That one is my fave.

Heres another shot of her....

(25 frustrating minutes later, Britanee gives up because she cant get it to load. It is a really cute pic of Emily S , Jennifer, and Britanee feeding a koala.)

Anyway.

Love them.

Also.

I have a boyfriend.

I know, we thought this day would never come.

His name is Josh.

He is the cute boy i reference all the time.The one from call-backs.

That was top-secret and no longer is.

He is very nice and respectful.

And he thinks Im cute, even tho Im obnoxious, and he makes me very happy.

His number one pet peeve is when people cant/dont use the right your's (your, you're.....are there more?)

OK, if you know me at all.

I am notorious for doing so.

When i found out this was his pet peeve , i commented that i always misuse them.

He said " I've noticed, i  wasn't going to say anything."

That right there shows how great he is.

Anyway, enough of that.

I mean, i could go on. But I guess it annoys ppl.

(single people)

(so pathetic.)

hahaha.

So, now that we are dating, i figured he is permitted to see these killer legs i keep under wraps.

So tonight, i wore a short hoochie skirt ( im a classsy gurrrl) and my mom kept commenting on how short it 

was, and i told my mom

"Mom, if i wanna keep this boy around, i gotta show off the goods."

I couldn't finish this sentence without laughing.

I have trained her to be entertained by the outrageous things i say.

It took about 16 years.

I started as a baby.

though, i didnt end up wearing the skirt.

but i still showed of my leggies.

Lemme tell ya, it was a good plan.

Oh gosh.

I dont know that im mature enough for a blog anymore.

Hmmmmm whatelse.

Oh. I auditioned for an improv troupe.

I did not get in.

Apparently, im not funny.

Nah, im really not beat up about it.

IM JUST GONNA START MY OWN. TAKE THAT SOS.

Man, im so joking right now.

Hmmmmm what else.

Forum is going good.

I feel alright about it.

Dude.

I have a fatttttttttty essay do tomorrow.

Here was my priority list for the night

• hang out with friends/josh
• check facebook an unjustifiable amount
• write a blog
• read obamas heathcare bill
• eat pizza
• gouuuuch my eyes out
• do essay.....

actually, i already ate pizza, so its a bit out of order.

dude.

I do not wanna write the essay.

College is kickin my butt.

So its work.

Real life is hard.

And im not even in the thick of it.

Real adults would say this isnt real life.

Happy to know it gets worse/harder

Quick , what movie is this from ?

"You're not even old enough to know how hard life gets."

Seriously, leave it in the comment box if you know.

I think its A 90'S movie....

NO MORE CLUES

maryjane.

do you catch that im procrastinating....

Im not excited for the next few days.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

WIN THE LOTTERY.

Me and Sadee were talking about this

You know what we decided

Me:"More money, more problems"

Sadee: "More money, more solutions."

YES.

Add WASH MY FACE to list of things to do before i am productive

I have so much homework to do tomorrow.

Barf city.

Thats all for now.

Take my hand, take my whole life too

I like posting blogs.




Im really worried i will be one of those psychos who posts too often.
So Im limiting myself.


You guys wanna hear something concerning ?
I think in status updates.


I think one of thees days im just gonna post a blog that is just thoughts id considered posting in one days time.




HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN LAST SONG?
Niccolas Sparks is a sicko.
Who thinks of that crap.
I openly sobbed.
Literally.




For all of you out of state readers.
It rained last night.
Im not joking.
It was crazy.




GUESS WHAT GANG.
I dont buy clothes anymore.
I will buy USED winter clothes when the time comes.




Im pretty proud of myself.
Although.....i hasnt been tested yet....
Actually, i do need to buy some neon sports bras from Forever21.
But that'll be real cheep.


Which leads me into the show.
remember the annoying kid i said was annoying.
OH MY GOSH ITS GETTING WORSE!
I dont know how i am gonna last 2 months with this kid....


But oh well. Other than that its going well!


Its funny when i bump into people i know from church, and they want to come see it.
I have to explain it is about a whore house and ...welll thats about as far as i get before the look on their face confirms
a) they arnt coming
b) we cant be friends anymore




IM JOKING.
(and im not one of the whores. Im a little nobody. I do turn a little lesbo toward the end tho. Its weird. And it definitely wont help my mothers suspicions. )




My life is getting stressfull.
theres all this stupid drama.


And not the high school drama that didnt matter,
Drama that matter and thus stresses me out.


Blegh.
Leaves a bad taste in my mouth.


ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!
I realized i really want to go to medical school.
Im excited.
Im gonna be a PA.
I think.
But who knows.
We will see.
CUZ I LOVE THE HUMAN BODY.


"Oh lets all make jokes that Britanee enjoys anatomy, he he he shes a whore."


That is niether accurate nor funny.


You wont be laughing about my promiscuity when i safe your life. Or....ya know....Swab your scrapped knee.




I have stuff to do.
I cant just sit here.




Here is what i have to do

• hang up my dads clothes from the dryer
• move my clothes into the dryer
• clean my kitchen so cute boy thinks my family is normal when he comes over tonight.
• clean everything so cute boy thinks my family is normal when he comes over tonight
• figure out what we are going to eat for a picnic
• figure out if its going to rain - and then figure out what to wear 
• and then if it is going to rain, figure out something to do besides have a picnic.

All of this in the next 2 hours.
But , i can handle it.
Been a women a long time.




So, nothing too exciting.
But i figured id let you know.




*P.s - There is secretly a lot of very exciting things happening, but i cant discuss them on a public page.


Ps.s.s.s- they are not that exciting at all compared to Melanie Fenwick's life.

Never met the guy but i treat him like i missed him

WHAT A WEEKEND.
I feel like a whole new woman.


*off topic and possibly disgusting -
I once posted on FB " I woke up a girl and went to bed a Woman" 
I think a lot of people thought Id lost my virginity.
Nahhh. I just got a surprise mammogram and papsmear.
It was done by a professional. 
That wasnt like a slang term or anything....




Too much?




I dont care who you are the story of my first papsmear is hilarious.
Dont act like your too good for an entertaining papsmear story.


THIS ISNT EVEN WHAT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT! 


Lemme also say while im off subject.
YOU FRIENDS IN COLLEGE NEED TO UPDATE YOUR BLOG MORE SO I KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING AND WE WILL ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT AT CHRISTMAS.
:)
Misssssss youuuuuuu.






So
Remember plan makecuteboymyboyfriend ?
It is going swimmingly.
Im happy to report we have a date this Thursday.
Shhhhh, dont make a big deal out of it. I dont want him to know im gushing about it on my blogspot like some pretween girl!


So that is respectable.




Hmmm what else.


Probably the highlight of my weekend, was my adventure night with Sadee !
I had heard that Krispee Kream throws away all of their leftover donoughts. And a friend suggested using them for a prank.
So Sadee and i drove out to Superstition Springs and snuck up behind the bulding to the dumpster.
Mission : Doughdumpster
The plan was sadee would drive the get away mobile and i would get the booty. However, they had just emptied the dumpster and there was a measly 2 bags, about 4 feet from the brim of the dumpster.
I tried reaching.
I tried hopping.
I tried running around saying " I cant do this."
Untill finally i jumped up and balanced on my illiac crest ( ishhh just got real) * the iliac crest is the spot under your belly button, like where your pooch ends. Pooch means gut. ....nothing sexual
anyway.
I balanced on that, while my bare arms grazed the lid of the dumpster ( vommmitttt) and i reachhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheddddd for the bag. SUCCESS.
Untill. The bag was too heavy. And i am a strong girl.
I heaved. 
And i ho-ed.
And i could not get it out.
Although i did get some nasty icing shizz ALL OVER ME
and so i ran back to the get away car and said "eff this"
And sadee said "nay"
and that beast sadee, she went and she got that bag. And together we carried it to my car, iccing oozing on us and all.
Even tho, now we have them and nothing to do with them....so...




Dude.
My friend emailed me from university and her life is so exciting
You should read her blog instead.
Shes got it goin on.


Im like " I fed my dog and then car-pooled to community college."


BUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE A DATE THIS THURSDAY SO SUCK IT EXPENSIVE UNIVERSITY'S !


Story time! 
( You know how many boys i have to block from this blog ? Geeze. i am just giving away all my secrets. And Ill be like Taylor swift and her stupid songs, no one will want to date me cuz ill write a blog post about it!)


So, Once upon a time a boy asked me if i wanted to hang out. and i said yes. he was cute. and we were friends. Later on he off handedly called it a "date night" and i thought HOLLLLLLMOTHERITSADATE
And so we went to El Pollo Loco together (ClaSsy) and i said something about how boys dont like when girls dont eat on dates.
And then later on in the night, he goes "Britanee, I like you alot, this just isnt a date.)
AWWWWWWKWARD.
Even though eventually we decided it was a date and he was my first kiss.(technically it was not my first kiss.But its my first kiss that meant something. and wasnt with a homosexual. GAY RIGHTS!)
Which is an EVEN BETTER STORY.(the kiss with the el polo loco boy, not the gay kiss. OK both are good stories.)
First kisses are awwwkward.
Side note: I ALWAYS say weird awkward things after my first kiss with someone.


But back to the point. SO, he said it wasnt a date.
So now, i am very reluctant to ever acknowledge something as a date, even if it is very clearly a date. 


Why did i even get started on this.......




Anyways, so theres that. Im not sure where i was going with it.
Someday i will have to tell you that story in detail. 




The point of all of this is...Im not psycho.


This blog is getting better and better.


I mean, how could it not, when i opened up with a mammogram reference.
The other day, someone who i am not friends with on facebook, or expect to take any interest in my life referenced my blog.
It was flatteringly creepy.




So....tell your friends.


I really wish i made a video blog
a VLOG as they are called. This would be so much better with my face....




School has returned to its normal level of borringness.
And i work a lot.






But i am really enjoying rehearsals. 
EXCEPT MY KNEE IS SO BRUISED. I AM TEMPTED TO POST PICS. 
But, remember the kid who replaced my lover. He is only getting more annoying. 
BUT I CAN HANDLE IT.




Check this.
I have rehearsal from 2-6 and then work from 6-11 on Mondays, Wednesdays,and Fridays
*transportation time was included in those figures*
Tuesdays and Thursdays I am at school all day
And Saturday i am either working, or having all day rehearsals.
And Sundays are spent sleeping and feeling guilty about my lack of religion.


So that is my life right now.
Crazy.
Basically, i spend everyday at MCC.
But im not complaining. Im happy to be so busy.




HERES WHAT I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT.
The lack of new music.


I listen to like the same 3 songs everyday.
Its annoying.
I dont have the radio in my car, so i never hear new songs.
Right now, all i listen to is
Easy -Rascal Flatts
Remind me - Brad Paisley
Kiss it better-He is We ( Dang you sadee!!!!!)
6 foot 7 foot clean-Lil Wayne


I kinda ran Super Bass into the ground.




Oh,taylor (my brother) is in Lamb of God on Friday at Gammage,its a big deal, and im very excited and proud ! 
Good for him !




Lets see....
oh, let the record show
I am a beast at crockpot dinners.


I think im gonna bring that up on my date.




Anyway, that seems to be it for now kids!


















TIME OUT.




This next section is called
"How you know your a hoe"
If you think it will offend you, then, you dont have to read it. But its actually scary accurate.




HOW YOU KNOW YOUR A HOE

• Your hair is lighter than your skin tone ( excluding albinos.)
• Your EYE MAKE UP is LIGHTER(or metallic) than your skin tone
• Your eye liner looks like it was drawn on with a charcoal  pencil. 
• The cross on your necklace gets lost in your cleavage      
• The eye liner one is the most dependable. The thicker the liner the looser the girl.

So there's that.


Im gonna make another one that is about  things people say that make them look stupid at movie theaters.