wecantbackdownwecantbackdownnotrightnow

Things that annoy me:

• When my salsa con queso goes missong

• camp rock

• printers ALLLWAYYYYYSSS (i could cuss all night long about those little fricks)

• pages not loading

• stress

• feeling inadequate

• whining

• pictures of drunk girls (they just look so GD ugly. )

• short lists.

You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive

Whats the last thing I talked about?


I dunno.

We will just start with exciting stuff.
there is bean dip on the r and the t of my key board.
its terribly attractive.....what? that is in no way what i was trying to type.
the word i was going for is "distracting"
So.I rest my case.


but anywayssss



I started school.


My first class is Broadway Solos.


Its exactly what it sounds like - singing Broadway songs.

Its pretty cool

Its cool because its not like "you must now sing like a beautiful bird and everyone will analyze you."

Its like "uh, why dont you sing and we will cheer you on even if it sucks"


So. Thats cool.


People really don't care if your good, just if you have fun.

So i try and remember that when im about to sing in front of the class, trying not to throw up and thinking"isuckisuckisuckisuckisuckwhyamiherewhatamidoingisuckisuckisuck"



Next I have Healthy Living

I can already tell im going to like that class.
Its right up my alley.
All about nutrition and exercise and healthy relationships.
Its way cool and the teacher makes it a lot of fun.


Then i wait for an hour in the music building munching on any scraps of food i have in my backpack.

And then I go to my English 102 class with the coolest weirdest craziest teacher ever.
She talks about how marijuana should be legalized and calls herself the B-word when no one is listening and tells us to look away when she has to stop lecture to pull up her pants because they are falling off.

and then i get out of that class and HAULLLLL MY TOOOOOOSHHHH to Rent rehearsals.
Every time I walk in people go "OHHH YOU MISSED IT" Like fricken Obama was cracking jokes right before I walked in.
 (my English class ends at 2:50 and RENT starts at 2:30)


And then we rehearse

And i fight all the discouraging thoughts I have about my ability to perform.

and then i get all frustrated that i cant read music and i dont know how to sing alto, but i cant sing soprano any more because im a grown women.


And then we all grind up on each other.


And then me and Josh go home and eat.






So.
That pretty much sums up every Monday Wednesday and Friday.


I bought Boys deodorant because its way cheaper and you get way more and i thought it would work better.

No.

It doesn't.

I smell like fricken garbage ALLL THE TIME.


So then I go to RENT rehearsal.

And i smell like fricken onion rings and teenage boys
and then i find out we are rehearsing CONTACT

Which is....Which is......its.....a big scene of people who are in love. And do what people in love....do.


My partner was very strong.
And imaginative.


So there's that.





Its fun tho.


My week gets very busy but I like it.



Most of the time I am either fighting off emotional breakdowns, or too busy to have them
I feel like its normal tho.


tho is a word ?


My computer isnt reprimanding me...


Well whatta ya know.


So.
Life is pretty good.

Im just growwwin up a lot.

So.

yeah.

But blue skies are calling

This is how I can handle hard things.

See. Look how many hard things i am handling.

But they all fall down at once, instead of a few at a time.

So this is my current state.

You better run, better run

So yesterday my good friend Nate came over and I didnt know how to entertain him.

SO i made him a carnitas quesadilla.

And while i am  making him one, Nate runs in and says, "Hey Bee we are gonna do a cover of pumped up kicks."

And i said "ok"

So we did.

And it was pretty chill. 

It started off with us not caring and doing it for fun, but then we got really serious with crazy mics and head phones and cameras and audio technology and hipster glasses and unison bobbing.

So here is ANOTHERRRRR youtube cover of pumped up kicks. 

Its pretty alright. 

Im kinda awesome at lip-syncing and rapping.

No big deal 

;)

Every morning there's a halo hanging from the corner of my girlfriends four post bed.

Last night Taylor and Josh and I were trying to decide what to watch on netflix, because we couldn't agree on anything.
And I saw glee and said
"We could watch Glee and pretend we dont like it."
I kinda felt like ghandi, because truer words were never spoken.
Everyone has a soft spot for Glee, its just that it sucks, so you have to pretend you dont like it.

I dont like it.

SO.
Tay and Josh and I all spend a lot of time together,so we've gotten pretty comfortable with each other.

And last night Taylor farted in the kitchen
it was the sickest fart i have ever heard.
seriously.

And Taylor goes

"It sounded likie 2 midgets high fiving each other."


and i fell off the couch laughing.

Last night Josh and I finally went to Lennys Burgers, this little place we always drive past and want to try.

 Josh said it was like in and out, but not as good. But bigger, so that made up for it.
So there is a review for you.


We both had 99 cent rootbeer floats , which were both suprizingly big and tasty for their price.


So.

Lennys Burgers on Stapley and the 60.

Good stuff.


ALSO!

I have begun my paint chip chandelier (i just spelled that right on my first try. I am really proud and impressed with myself.)

Its kinda the Bomb dot com.
 Big thanks to Momma Riddle for her contribution (the punch i am using to create the entire chandelier!)

I am a fan. I will post when its done.

Oh, you wanna see what it will look like ?

Almost identical too, cuz those are the colors i chose.

(duh. What other color would i choose...?)


Rachel and I are about to go to the Mills Mall  so i can show her how to shop all the cheep stores without looking cheep.

I love the mills.
Now that it has an H&M its officially the perfect mall.

*department size Forever 21* #idie.

the only down size of the mills is the fact you come home broke.

And.....its hella far away.


I like when taylor blasts Glee music so loud he doesnt realize im home and i can hear his sweet harmonies.

I had to emmision test my car this morning.
I fricken hate doing that.
But i went and it wasnt bad.

So thats nice.

Josh and I might see beauty and the beast tonight.


Wanna hear a secret ?

I litteraly enjoy like 1/50 of all disney movies.

Dont tell anyone.

I tell people and they get super angry and defensive.

like "Im sorry, I had no idea you were Walt Disney"

By the way.

I am working on that chandelier , it is fricken awful.

the worsttt.



School starts on wednesday.
Im pretty excited.
But sad at the same time, cuz i legit only have 2 classes. LAMMMEEE. I signed up late so all the good ones are full. So my options now are late-session or summer classes (it will most likely be both.)

So there is that.


And Rent starts on Wednesday.
Im thinking I .....never mind.
Im not gonna tell you!

I was gonna tell you my inspiration for Mimi.

But....imma keep it to myself.

I guess it'll be between me and jere bear.

Its pretty awesome.


But i am excited for this semester, should be fun. We will see!


OK THATS ALL FOR NOW.

You da one that i dream about all day-ay-ay.

How long has it been since I blogged ? Like, over a week.


So I know you guys are just dying for a new post.


Lets start from the ground up.


My foot is officially crazy.

Its all swollen and lumpy and sad.

I just hobbel around on it.

We went all theese cool places when my sister and her family were in town, and I had to use a wheel chair. (Josh pushed me around. What a gentleman, huh?)


Which brings me to my family.

It was wicked fun having family in town.

Lets do a quick week over view?

... Apparently that isnt going to happen because i dont remember enough.(yeii dawg thats how crazy it got)


Anyways we did lots of cool stuff like family pictures
PAUSE:

Whats that ? You wanna see some. Oh i'll feed ya baby birds....

UNPAUSE:
and the zoo and the desert museum in Tucson (where my precious 3 year old niece ran into a cactus and screamed a heart breaking"ouchie" for 20 minutes while they pried the needles out of her skin ) a lot of great mexican resturants, card games and a lot of HIMYM
Which brings me to HIMYM.


How do i describe this masterpiece.

I mean anyone who has seen it understands. But if you havent seen it....
It is honestly the best show ever.
It is crazy clever, and hilarious.

You just....You just have to watch it.

So Josh ,Taylor, Sarah, Steve and I watched that pretty much all the time.


Which brings me to Josh.

Sorta.


My nice (who cant say her "ch"s or "j"s ) calls Josh Saush.
It stuck for a while.


But then i figured i'd better stop calling my boyfriend a name my 3 year old niece does.

Which brings me to my nieces.
They are too cute.

And they all had a crush on Josh (I mean, who doesnt?)

This is a conversation betwen me and Rachel who is 6 and Emma who is 3

Rach: Emma has a crush on Josh, she loves him

Emma: I do love him,

Me: No rachel you have a crush on Josh.

Rach: I know.

Emma: Saush is my present.

Me: Ha, what?

Em: He is my present, like you know, my Christmas present.

So thats how that went.

Which leads me to emma being a baller.


So josh was in the bathroom.

PAUSE.

I learned this weekend he doesnt usually lock bathroom doors....

UNPAUSE

So as usual, he had the door unlocked

So emma bursts in , backs out, shuts the door,  knocks on the door, and says "uh, Saush do you know where my mom is?"


I taught  her everything she knows.
A lady's gotta think on her feet.


She was very proud of herself  because she ran into my parents room and told Sarah "I asked Saush were you were!" - all smug like.


I freakin love that kid.


So moral of the story - I always gotta keep them ladies off my man.


I havent blogged in so long because i feel like i have nothing to talk about....


I started a private blog, but it was just lame and whiny and depressing.

And i mean, maybe that would be therapeutic for me, but i dont wanna look back and remember how much things sucked, i just wanna remember the good stuff, like emma walking in on my boyfriend as a child.

So there's that.....


Oh!

Lets do new years resolutions.

Wait, first lets look at old resolutions.


2011

• be respectful to my mother
• graduate high school
• go to college
• be a good person, stay strong in my values
• do something that terrifies me 
• get a boyfriend
• get a grown up job

Thats respectable.

2012 NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS.

• be respectful to my mother
• unconditionally love everyone i meet.
• include people, be friendly.
• forgive people (in particular)
• talk to God more often 
• do more things that terrify me.
• stay in touch with high school friends
• be proud of the person I am at the end of the year.
• make necessary money 

And that is how you do a new  years resolution list.

none of this "loose weight" crap. (that wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, cuz i have a lot of friends with that resolution [its pretty common])

You just do general idea's so you can feel like you accomplished them.

dannnngggg.

Well, i just made a whole lot of lemon squares for people. 

so imma go take care of that.

BYE I LOVE YOU.