Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth

all about lists.






Things I need to be doing instead of writing this blog 

• writing a prospectus (i dunno what that is either. so that complicates things.)
• cleaning the kitchen
• cleaning my room
• sobbing into a pillow

That reminds me!


Did you guys know i used to be a really negative ,depressed person, like all the time.


Crazy right ?


And then I met this man who told me I was too negative and i needed to change it.


Thats the one thing im glad i changed for him.






So now im usualy genuinely happy.


I still complain tho.




So thats why I take it so hard when I get sad.
its like polar opposites.


(epiphany: bi-polar.)






Cute.




Things that run in my family

• every kind of mental illness you can imagine 
• overeating/emotional eating
• lots of laughter

that basically covers it.....








Dude. 




So there are these auditions today.
And i hate auditioning so i was like "i should do it."
But now im like 
"im not gonna do it."
and i feel good in my decision.




Guys.


Im like 5 different people.




I have so many sides.




I mean, everyone kinda does, its called social adaption (when you sort of shift to fit in with the people your surrounded by)


but mine are pretty drastic.




Its funny seeing myself be all of those different people.


Especially when one comes out when it shouldnt .
Like when I get really inappropriate and profane in front of my parents. 
But i just giggle.




That reminds me of when i got my wisdom teeth out.
I was a loose cannon.
I can sort of remember, but i hear stories about the awful things i said.
Like for real, someone shoulda kept a tally of how many eff words i said.


That one is secretly my favorite.
I say it in my head all the time.
and the SW word.
I cant even stop that one from coming out.
And some days it turns into CW.




Ohhh jere......




i like something about each of my sides, i just have to make them all come together, ya know.
before i get married.






I didnt tell you my dad told me I could marry Josh.


I wanted Josh to know before you guys.




Made my eyes get really big.
Marriage!
holy calzone.
Not even in my scope. 
Not even on my mind.






growing up is so crazy.


Im glad i can trust people pretty well.
And im really grateful for the friends I have.


Growing up is fun. 
Im glad its like a lifelong thing.