Turned the white snow red as strawberries in the summertime

Hang on. This one gets messy fast.

Lets do this chronologically.
So you can get an understanding of the pace of it all.



My night.

6 pm
Taylors birthday dinner.

7 pm
Watching TV with Michal

8 pm
Realizing Charlie no longer controlled  her back legs.

Making sure charlie is comfortable

Watching "What Dreams May Come" (and sobbing/loving it)

 10 pm
Realizing Charlie's stomach is bloated


Hearing her struggle to breath

11 pm
Making charlie a bed on my floor

12am
Go to sleep

- wake up every 30 minutes due to stress/discomfort-

4 am
Get a call from a friend asking to JUMP A  CAR BATTERY

Jump the battery

5am
Talk to my parents about what to do with the dog

6am
Wake up to say my final goodbyes to the dog

7am
Get a text from allie telling me shes going into labor

9 am
Wake up to my Dad and Taylor taking Charlie to the Vet to get put down.





So ..... it was a chaotic night.




When the vet told us about Charlie's Lymphoma, I was super bothered by it. But i think in a way it made it easier when the time came. This way, I knew it was coming, I was prepared,and I just wanted her to no longer be in pain.



I handled it pretty well when Dad and Tay came home without her.

Its only hard when I have left over meatloaf and have to throw it in the trash instead of in her food bowl
or when the door is left open and I instinctively begin to shout to close it, to prevent her from getting out.
Or when i drop cake on the ground and begin to call her name to come lick it up.


Generally, there's just a feeling of something missing in the house.


Im oddly content just cuz, like i said, i know shes not in pain anymore.


When I was driving Charlie home from the vet 17 days ago, I told her "You just tell me when you're ready, and I'll make sure to take care of it."


And I think she did.


We communicated pretty well towards the end.




In other news, the movie "What Dreams May Come" is for sure a new favorite.