Just the other day it was 8.
"No, its like 3." she responds.
"Its always 5."
Its becoming increasingly difficult to be two places at once.
Math 150, and a handful of people keep my mind from drifting 200 miles south.
That and the fact my mind has no where to live once it gets there.
Mouths move to form words quicker than I can catch up with as I resurface from my racing, panicked thoughts.
Orange and blue fade quicker and quicker to gold, organization consuming my executions. Foreign to me.
Foreign to everyone.
Familiar faces look at me unfamiliarly. Something I notice hours later when I've gotten around to remembering.
The list of people I'm neglecting longer than the list of my accomplishments
longer than my obligations, responsibilities or tasks.
Maybe its because I'm crossing those off one by one or maybe its because I don't care about them in comparison to faces I haven't seen in literal years. Faces that share my features. Faces I would recognize anywhere, even tho they've changed. Even tho their curly hair now grows straight and they correctly pronounce words, even the hard ones.
I tell myself two years will go by fast.
and the two years after that.
And then...a job with no promise of being near familiar faces.
"5 months" I reply. "I leave in 5 months"
