Thoughts I just have to vocalize for now.
At this point in my life, I would be truly offended if someone asked my father if they could marry me. Truly.
The other day I was in math and I was like "I should go on a diet soon..."then I was like "Wait no I have actually important shit to do"
I had the same thought while looking at hair tutorials. hashtag objective hair out of my face hashtag top knot
It kills me when I post a status about female empowerment, gender roles, or domestic abuse and only females like it.
I love when people say "mankind"or "thats so gay"and then look at me and mockingly apologize to me and correct themselves, as if making a joke of my beliefs.
Keep teasing me about how inclusively and consciously I speak by speaking inclusively and consciously- I want you to.
The other day I realized "man" is the base of "human".
Eff it.*rolls eyes and tosses hands up gingerly.*
Ive stopped giving power to the fact I will be viewed, perceived and treated differently because Im a woman and just started doing, saying, and reacting however I want to. Hashtag im too agressive Hashtag im too cocky hashtag im unapologetic.
Thats it.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
So show me why you're strong-ignore everybody else.
Upon becoming an empty nester, my mother has started actively using her facebook, a first for her.
She signs her comments with her name.
My brother left for his mission about 3 or 4 weeks ago.
People are excited for him, so they often ask me about it. How he is doing, what I think of it...etc
I'm never as happy to talk about it as I feel they expected.
In fact for the first week I couldn't even talk about it without tearing up and consequently abruptly changing the subject.
My first email was nothing but jokes about how Im sure my life is more interesting than his.
My brother hugged me goodbye tight. My face in his shoulders, I could only hear the tears in his voice as he said "Ïm going to miss you so much, Im so proud of you, just keep doing what your doing, Im so proud of you - know that."
My response was a monotone "love you, bye"
I walked away fast.
because as anyone who I've broken up with knows, I'm not good with emotions I don't like and Im even worse with goodbyes.
My brother was inactive before I was. We became best friends once I attended college with him, and at the same time, became inactive myself.
We were each others allys when family came into town and aggressively "invited" us to church. Allys when we sat through cult-like ceremonies of children in all white.... him and I turning to each other with wide eyes and terrified eyebrows.
People around me have either forgotten or never knew how close Taylor and I were, not understanding my silence that glistens with anger.
As Taylor began ASU and I began devout feminism both distance and believes slowly lulled us from one another. My resentment and his admiration for the church growing at the same pace.
I cried when Taylor left, but I think I cried most when I found out he was leaving.
To me he's already been gone a long time.
Thats all Im really ready to say at this point.
She signs her comments with her name.
My brother left for his mission about 3 or 4 weeks ago.
People are excited for him, so they often ask me about it. How he is doing, what I think of it...etc
I'm never as happy to talk about it as I feel they expected.
In fact for the first week I couldn't even talk about it without tearing up and consequently abruptly changing the subject.
My first email was nothing but jokes about how Im sure my life is more interesting than his.
My brother hugged me goodbye tight. My face in his shoulders, I could only hear the tears in his voice as he said "Ïm going to miss you so much, Im so proud of you, just keep doing what your doing, Im so proud of you - know that."
My response was a monotone "love you, bye"
I walked away fast.
because as anyone who I've broken up with knows, I'm not good with emotions I don't like and Im even worse with goodbyes.
My brother was inactive before I was. We became best friends once I attended college with him, and at the same time, became inactive myself.
We were each others allys when family came into town and aggressively "invited" us to church. Allys when we sat through cult-like ceremonies of children in all white.... him and I turning to each other with wide eyes and terrified eyebrows.
People around me have either forgotten or never knew how close Taylor and I were, not understanding my silence that glistens with anger.
As Taylor began ASU and I began devout feminism both distance and believes slowly lulled us from one another. My resentment and his admiration for the church growing at the same pace.
I cried when Taylor left, but I think I cried most when I found out he was leaving.
To me he's already been gone a long time.
Thats all Im really ready to say at this point.
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