I wanna keep it how it is, so you can never say how it used to be.

"im back!

sorry it took me so long, i over heard a spider catching and eating a fly so i had to watch

it was riveting

but i think the fly is deadsies now"

^^^^^^that was Zach.

it made me giggle.

He is honestly on of my favorite people of all time.

Its cool cuz after high school you can be who you want to be.

I like who I am.

So .... there's that.

Remember a few blogs ago when i was like "Im not gonna be honest with my parents anymore."

Well turns out i cant do that.

And telling them the truth actually makes me feel better.

And it turns out my mom is actually surprisingly cool.

So, glad i gave her a chance.

One night I watched the office , and Micheal runs in saying "i need suggestions, suggestions, give em to me...wet cement outside, what should i write?"

And i giggled.

And then the next morning i went outside and ran right back in screaming "i need suggestions, suggestions, give em to me...wet cement outside, what should i write?"

There really was wet cement outside.

The city was redoing my driveway.

Im pretty sure there is oil under my house and they were secretly drilling.

Fricken shariff joe.

So josh is in this show.

And he has rehearsal everynight.

And its gotten to the point where i am like a sad house wife who just waits in the kitchen looking at the clock while anxiously twisting a dish towel in her hands.

Its rough.

except instead of wearing like an apron or a 5o's dress i wear sweat pants and a sweat shirt.

I had a hard day yesterday, so i think im entitled to being grubby and lazy.

but i mean, thats justifiable for one day....but im pushin two....

I got all my homework done tho!

and i backed a cake and cookies and shaved my legs and rearranged the towles in the bathroom- so no he wont leave me!

*perks up at the sound of the door opening while striking a "oh, i havent been waiting here for you all night since the children have been put to bed" pose.

Its just taylor.

*shlumps back down into a sad pile of a human.

this is me right now.

eeehhh, i tried it.

Thats nothing like what i look like.

Lately all i eate is junk food and quesadillas.

Im going through a phase.

Remember when i thought id be less busy aqfter forum?

PAUSE:

FORUM DVD'S ARE DONE! WHICH MEANS YALL CAN WATCH IT!

OOOTTT OTTTTT.

UNPAUSE:

Well im not.

I am just as busy.

so theres that.

anyway.

theres another pointless blog about my pointless life.

awww come on, i didnt mean it! 

HERE WATCH THIS VIDEO AND STOP HATING GAY PEOPLE! 

http://front.moveon.org/two-lesbians-raised-a-baby-and-this-is-what-they-got/#.Ttb__gaq96s.facebook

Seriously.

Just cuz your parents smoked pot in the 60's doesnt mean you should too.

time to make your own choices.

LOVE YOU BYE. 

P.s. - dunno whats going on with the tiny colum format instead of a regualr format. 

uhhhh ssssshssssorrry.

lifes like little splinters.

I am openly addicted to hash tags.
Maybe its because they make me feel like my lesbian lover #kateroberts.
Or maybe its because they express some underlying theme that has always been trapped inside my heart  until hash tags came along.


Im not ashamed.
And i dont know why I cant marry a hash tag.
Conservatives.


Really cool people read my blog.


I have friends who walk up and tell me they read my blog...and its like taylor swift hearing tim mcgraw listens to her music.



(I know,its a rough reference. Which is why you are SO MUCH COOLER if you understand it.)

I leggit have THE COOLEST FRIENDS.
Me and one of the aforementioned friends, Dahlya, were talking about how we dont know how we are gonna make friends as cool as our old friends.


Another thing Im addicted to.
Quesadillas  and Netflix.
I cant have one without the other.

DID YOU KNOW>!>!>! How i met your mother is now on Netflix. Im begging taylor to let me watch it but he wont.


But i will settle for blue collar because the lead guy looks like wentworth miller, zac efron , and pen badgely had a love child #makesmytoescurl
(i later learned it is pronounced WHITE color)

Am i using hash tags wrong ?
I dont know how to.

I just follow my heart.


I WENT TO THE DANCING HOUSE TONIGHT!




UGH. LOVE.

I think i deafened Cat when I started screaming when Polar Express started playing.
I didnt know if theyd have it again this year.

Except now they have this gayyyyyy LCD screen with like family pictures and a creepy green screen santa. Its very distracting.


You guys the last couple of days I have been a bottomless pit.

seriously. soooo much food.

You have no idea.

I dont even want to look at the scale.

But hopefully i get summore fat on my boobs!


thats why i dont want to loose anymore weight.

especially in my butt.


MONEY MAKERRRR.


Actually my hands are my money makers.




 Cuz i sweep popcorn.




Dude.

Im writing an essay on civil unions for homosexualls. (im in favor.#duh)
I havnt started actually.
Its due thursday.
And normally- no big deal
But i have to have citations.
Blegh.
Its a good thing my teacher is the worlds easiest grader.


Me and tayor missed all the good classes.
Like, they are all full.


blegh.


suck.

I want to take anatomy so bad, but its full!


LOOKS LIKE I HAVE TO MARRY A MORMON MAN AND RAISE CHILDREN ,CUZ GETTING AN EDUCATION IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.

The other day , I heard some mormons being really ignorant and sexist and psycho - and i had to remember thats the people- not the gospel.

Sometimes its hard to separate the two.


Thats why Im glad my God is really cool and accepting and understands me.
Cuz those peoples God seems really uptight.


I went to the temple tonight.

For like the first time in......oh i can tell you the exact date. hold on.
lemme look at a calender.

June 5th.
I was wearing my graduation dress (my favorite dress I own)
Apparently, it showed a lot of thigh.
I cant help it that all the long dresses are butt ugly and i refuse to put them on my body.



Hot dang.

How long is that?
5 months ishhhh



SO.
Psychologically.
It was tough.

But then again.

I love that place.
And the lights are gorgeous, of course.

AND THEESE PPL WERE SELLING 50 CENT HOT CHOCOLATE.


Desseret could learn a thing or two about how to appeal to  MORMON target market.

20 dollars for a candle #youreoutayourdangmind!

But im the sucker who bought it  #convenientlyplacedpricetag


Who ever priced that candle sure isnt gonna make it to heaven.






hashtags  #eeeeeeeeeekkkkwarmsmyheart.




I am secretly hilarious.



oh my.



ME AND EMILY S ARE HAVING A BREAKFAST ON THE ROOF PARTY #cantwait.


Ok,im done with the H-tags for now.
I think i reached my limmit.



I like when people start facebook drama.

Like i kinda wanted to join in, and then i was like....wait.....im not in junior high anymore #igotocollege
(yeah, i just had to ask taylor how to spell college)



oh man.
Im gonna get it for all my sass mouthin.






Blegh.

I LIKE GROWING UP.
I LIKE IT.



OK IM WATCHING HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

BYEEE

Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

I have a love/hate relationship with Thanksgiving.

I really hate it.
I hate how everyone gets together with their big family and plays football and laughs and cures cancer.


What do i get.

Me and 4 other people sitting around a table with a Walmart turkey table cloth on it.


This thanksgiving started out pretty weird.

Basically me crying on Catherine's bed really confused.


And then i spent the whole day walking around my house really out of it.
Like New Moon out of it.
Like Wandering around a forest in a rain jacket/bad acting- out of it.



And then.

I called my jenny.

And she made everything better. And we laughed a lot.


And then my brother and his chikadees came over and we laughed a lot.
And i wasnt so bitter about the fact that 9/10ths of my family wasnt there or that we drink rootbeer from a bottle instead of some shanazzy crystal goblet that only gets used around thanksgiving.

and I saw my lover. and we watched kill bill 2. I think ?
Im pretty sure that was the night.
So i mean. it was pretty chill.
Wait. I dont think that is what we did.
Maybe we just watched psych.
Yeah thats it.

Anyway, it was a pretty good thanksgiving.


OH!
And I saw all my high school friends (holy crap im so hungry.)
SO that was way fun.

Its weird, cuz its like nothing had changed....but....its like.....it wasnt my life.
I CANT EXPLAIN IT.
Its like.......I was just taking a break from real life to go back to my old life.
I like both of my lifes.

So....


You guys have no idea how much stuff i have to do today.

I would type it out but its just exhausting.


I went to the mills last night and got fake toms (finally)
So that was neat.

And then I ate smash burger.
Seriously.
smash frys.
#makemytoescurl

and then we went home and played a made up card game for like 7 hours.

It was pretty dope.



And then I didnt go to choir like I said i would and now im here. doing homework and writing blog posts.

and about to make food.


anyway.


theres a boring blog for you.


bye.

Well she did,and she does,and she'll do it again.

Sometimes when Im starving i just eat slices of cheese.


Darn you atkins diet habits that i cant break.




Did you guys see how many status' I posted?
Holy geez!


I have a lot to say, ok.




apparently.




I just made pumkin cookies.
They are delicious.


They are from a little bag.
Not scratch.




One time I was at my good friend Dahlya's house.
And she wanted to make a giant cookie.
So we baught a ton of cookie mix(the bagged kind)
And she invited some mormon girls (which is inevitable in mesa.You have a 1.7/2 chance of inviting a mormon anywhere.)
And they were like mystified by the bag.
"I didnt know they made cookie mix in a bag?"
They were circeling it like it was an alien life form
And all the girls started muttering "I didnt even know- we just make ours from scratch-true religion"




And me and my good friend Jen had to walk away and laugh really hard.




Lemmme give you a feel for jen.


At my 14th birthday party I had an ice cream cake.


And i was cutting it and it was an inch away from falling off my table.
And jen and I simultaneously scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
And thats how we knew we were gonna be best friends.


You should ask jen about the first time we met.


: )


Jen I hope you're reading this.




Wanan hear another Funny jen story ?
(i love jen. I would totally hook up with her on a lesbo binge)(in fact I have)


PAUSE.
Something I have been disgussing with my lover (josh) is how I say things very seriously, so people think im joking, but im not.
So ive gotten to a point where you can never tell if im serious or not.
It gets me out of a lot of trouble.


"Were you just smoking pot in your car?"


*sarcastically over the top. "YEAH I WAS!"


SO the person really thinks your just being sassy and you havent.
But really you have.
This is not a example from my own life.
Smoking pot is lame.
Go out and make real friends.


I wonder how many readers I just lost.




Anyway
 UNPAUSE


Guys this is a really intense story.
Its not for you squeemish kids.


So i was really sick one time.
Like had a cold/cough kinda thing
And I had some friends come over to cheer me up
And Jen and I started joking around like playing like fooling like hoarse playing around
And she made me laugh really hard and i coughed up flem.
I wasnt embarresed because its jen. And im quirky.
And jen.
Being my perfect weird soul mate
Squinches her eyes and pretends like shes gonna lick it out of my mouth.
And you know What i do?
I laugh so hard it spits into her face.
Thats a friend for life right there.








Ok back on track.
What was the point of this ?


LOOK AT THIS CUTE THING I WANNA MAKE!!!

IM GOING TO MAKE IT AND THEN ENTERTAIN FANCY DINNER PARTIES.




I love pinterest more than anything.


If i had to pick one thing id take on a deserted Island, itd be pinterest.
And then id get a computer too.
So take that person who's making me choose!


You know what i like about replying "soon"?
That could mean tomorrow.
That could mean in the next 2 days.
That could mean in the next 5 minutes.






Things britanee can not do while blogging.

• bake cookies.

Guess who just burnt her cookies.




Im the worst mormon.
I used to be good.
And now look at me.


Making them from bag mix is probably where I went wrong in the first place.




Today Josh was like
"Im leaving soon, make sure all the naked men in your room leave."


and i said
"Nah, its a long drive.I still have time"


and he said
"okay, but please finsih before I get there, ok?"




I stinkin love that boy.






I get a lot of crap for being too gushy about josh.
But i make a constant effort not to be one of those annoying girls
"Out with Joe tonight. Best boyfriend ever. I love him. SO in love. We might have sex. Love him. "


^^^^that was a status update.




This is a blog.


I can occasionally gush about him.


And thats why all you sick saps are reading this anyway.






Anyway.


HES THE BEST.




MMMMMM TAKE THAT SUCKER.






What else do I have to talk about.....


I like when people go "Im being creepy and reading your blog"
Like its some  journal and you have to have a vile of my blood to open it.




This is public domain.


Im writing this for you - I already know what happened.
















I get paid 15$ an hour to clean my kitchen


I only tell you that cuz its relevant to the story im going into.


People think thats an outrageous amount.


And im like...."Have you seen my kitchen?"










My favorite thing ever is when my mom makes me clean.
And then she comes in and makes something while im trying to clean, and messes it up
Or when she makes me stop what im doing so she can wash her apple.
Or when she tells me to clean it a different way.


Or when im making cookies for everyone and she tells me how much better they would have been if i made icing or added nuts.




You are more than welcome to do that when you make them next, mom.




Things to do on my blog

• mother rant
• make jokes that will get me in trouble
• make people vomit by talking about my boyfriend.

I am getting so much done today.


Ive been so whiny this week.
Its nuts.
And irritable.
Sorta.
But the secret kind where you wont admit to it.
So people are like...whats wrong?
And your like "Nothing" but its making your areolar tissue itch your so annoyed.






I like it!








Guess what I cant stinkin wait for?




TO SEE ALL MY HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS.


My idaho family is like "why you not here 4 da THXGVIN ?" (somedays i pretend im kate roberts)


And i like (CUZ IM GONNA SEE ALL MY FRIENDS!)






I like skyping with Dahlya.


Jen.






I like them.




I feel like this has gone on long enough.




Like when my blogs have a purpose, I dont care how long they turn out.
But this one....this one.......its just..... ppppppppppppppppppplplplplplplplpl. 
(thats the noise you make when you tounge goes between your teeth and your botom lip goes pppppplplplplplpl)




What do you mean"no  its not" ?
Try and spell it out.




Yeah.
Who was right.




You should be embarrassed that you literally just made that noise. 








OK bye.

Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth

all about lists.






Things I need to be doing instead of writing this blog 

• writing a prospectus (i dunno what that is either. so that complicates things.)
• cleaning the kitchen
• cleaning my room
• sobbing into a pillow

That reminds me!


Did you guys know i used to be a really negative ,depressed person, like all the time.


Crazy right ?


And then I met this man who told me I was too negative and i needed to change it.


Thats the one thing im glad i changed for him.






So now im usualy genuinely happy.


I still complain tho.




So thats why I take it so hard when I get sad.
its like polar opposites.


(epiphany: bi-polar.)






Cute.




Things that run in my family

• every kind of mental illness you can imagine 
• overeating/emotional eating
• lots of laughter

that basically covers it.....








Dude. 




So there are these auditions today.
And i hate auditioning so i was like "i should do it."
But now im like 
"im not gonna do it."
and i feel good in my decision.




Guys.


Im like 5 different people.




I have so many sides.




I mean, everyone kinda does, its called social adaption (when you sort of shift to fit in with the people your surrounded by)


but mine are pretty drastic.




Its funny seeing myself be all of those different people.


Especially when one comes out when it shouldnt .
Like when I get really inappropriate and profane in front of my parents. 
But i just giggle.




That reminds me of when i got my wisdom teeth out.
I was a loose cannon.
I can sort of remember, but i hear stories about the awful things i said.
Like for real, someone shoulda kept a tally of how many eff words i said.


That one is secretly my favorite.
I say it in my head all the time.
and the SW word.
I cant even stop that one from coming out.
And some days it turns into CW.




Ohhh jere......




i like something about each of my sides, i just have to make them all come together, ya know.
before i get married.






I didnt tell you my dad told me I could marry Josh.


I wanted Josh to know before you guys.




Made my eyes get really big.
Marriage!
holy calzone.
Not even in my scope. 
Not even on my mind.






growing up is so crazy.


Im glad i can trust people pretty well.
And im really grateful for the friends I have.


Growing up is fun. 
Im glad its like a lifelong thing. 

Im all up under him like its cold-Winter Time. All up in the kitchen in my heels- Dinner Time.

I feel like Jesus when I eat pitta and humas.








You guys. 
I listen to SO MUCH beyonce.




Its redic.




Kay.
So the last 2 days have been like high school overload. 
I cant even imagine what it will be like when the whole gang is back.




I went to (pause.me and my dad just had a sex talk. It was pretty chill. ha, now i can hear him in the other room telling his business partner about it.)




Im not weird about talking about sex.
A lot of people get really uncomfortable, especially with their parents.
But luckily mine are pretty chill....Uhhhhh well except my mom
Rephrase: Luckily my dad is pretty chill.




He didnt tell me I was an awful person and if i had sex he'd disown me and that i need to stop being such a floosy.
He was just really calm about it.
And told me his views on sex before marriage
and all that.


When having sex is an actual possibility, it shouldnt be so taboo. Like for real.
I told my dad he could talk to me about it anytime.


Shizz,i need all the advice I can get,
Im just a kid! 






unpause.




I went to mountain view's fall play Noises Off (which was HILARIOUS and I want to be in a production of it before I die) and during intermission, My good friend Rene came over and we started chatting. He was being hilarious, naturally, and, i did my WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHATTTTTTTT laugh( for those of you who havnt heard it....its pretty awesome. I just scream "what" at the top of my lungs. People usually say "bless you.")
And this little dummmmmbbbbbb asssssssssss kid behind me  goes "Ohhhh, lets just be as loud as possible"


This kid.is in like 9th grade. braces. acne.has a wonky lookin face. we're talkin like marching band kid.


And im wearing theese killer red heals, and a sweeet  fitted blazer, like i know im lookin goood.




And I turn. And i give this kid the deaaaath stare. Like i have never projected to much sass to one person in such a small gesture. 


SO.that was irritating. Uhm, your in high school dip ish dont you be steppin to me.
So then the fricken dingo is just buzzin around me. like right behind me listening to my conversation. and I was like "Hi friend, whats your name?" and he goes "Nothing."


so i said




"Oh. I thought i was doing you favor talking to you. IT sure as hell wasnt doing it for my bennifit."




What the efff?
I was like.....jigga needs to straight check himself.
Boy shoot.




BUT THE PLAY WAS REALLY GOOD AND IM REALLY PROUD OF ALL MY LITTLE PALS!








Did you know I worked twilight yesterday ?


It was pretty nuts.


I opened by myself.


It wasnt too bad. 
It was actually fun.


Guys.
I have a lottttt of homework to do.
Like so much.




SO imma go do that.




Anyway just thought id stop in and fill you guys in on the happenings of my life.




Oh! Do you guys like the new font color ?


Melanie did it for me <3
THANKS  MEL-BEL

No time to waste and so many rules to break

Hazelnut milk reminds me of summertime.
Why?
Because every time I drink it im reminded of the morning Allie,Trent, Taylor and I went running and i came home and just drank a shiz ton of hazelnut milk and played card games.




Summer time was soo good. 
I miss it.


I also miss summer when I look at my fading tan on my legs. 


But then I see my pea coats and winter hats and everything is better.






Dude. 
Ive been having a hard couple of days.
Seriously, i dunno what my deal is.




WAIT.
I do know.




I just wrote a fatty blog telling you everything about my life and its innards.


And then erased it.




Im such a tease.




Heres the point of the 700 characters i typed (not really)  BUCKLE UP!




Lately.
Ive been hearing how bad of a person I am from a lot of different directions.








I am not a bad person.




Im not an idiot, or a lost cause, or a whore. <*that one was my favorite to hear :) 




Im a good person.






So listen to your own advice and stop thinking you know everything.






^^^^Man, thats deep.








blagh.




judgment.


Makes me want to vomit.




Cant even begin to tell you.




lets go on a tiny rant?
OK?
Cuz apparently i need to get this out.




I've had a crazy life.


seriously.
And i had to grow up fast.
And i gained a lot of good characteristics from all my crazy ass trials that you cant even begin to comprehend. 
And the fact that people would be so quick to chastise me.


Jigga, you dont know my life. 






SO theres that.




So that's what has been on my plate lately.






I really like growing up.
I really like being able to say what i think.
Remember when you were younger, you couldn't do that?




I mean, Im surrounded by conservatives most of the time, so I still kinda cant.
But...




I like it.


People cant really try and change you or reprimand you.


They just tell you "well, you know what is right"


Damn right I do. 














Joshua Lee is really good to me.










NO joke.
Boy can handle me when im psycho, when im obnoxiously loud, when im shy, when i wont answer him and so we just sit there for 20 minutes until i talk, when I have road rage, when i disrespect my family, when i overreact, when i cry in his shoulder, when i talk about tiny insignificant details of my day that no one in their right mind would ever be interested in, when i talk in weird voices,when i say awkward/ inappropriate / embarrassing things. 






Sometimes I just look at him and wonder how I got so lucky.






Anyway.


Life is pretty bearable.


Good friends, good grades, a roof over my head,whole food in the fridge.


What can ya do ?










so theres all that.
Its late and im a girl....so this is whatcha get.