While Im far away from you, my baby

So, on Thursday, Michal Took me to Dream a Little Dream at Phoenix Theater.

It was shnazzzy.


She was telling me about it, and she was like, "Ya know, its about The Mamas and The Papas"

So im thinking its like.....Post WWII Baby Boomers....or something.

Im a little embarrassed to even have to type my un-cultured-ness.


For you youngsters, they were a band in the 60's.


AND NOW I AM UNCONTROLLABLY OBSESSED WITH THE BAND.


I listen to them non-stop.

 Consequently I am now obsessed with the 60's.

The center part, the hippies, the styyyleeee.


Its funny, because looking through their stuff, its like looking at really current things. Like their albums and photoshoots. Because the 60's are really in.

So silly.

LOVE IT.


Taylor's really annoyed cuz its all i listen to.


Side note - here is the actor that played Denny

So...uh....that happened.





istalkthisshowandthebandandthesixtiesandthepicturedmanabove

And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never.

You think I should lighten my hair?


Im thinking of getting some highlights.
Like amanda bynes/oldschool JoJo.....
We will seeeeeee....



I washed my hair with Ausie shampoo the other day opposed to my homemade Essential oils/baking soda mix.


It was a dream.

I have forgotten how great real shampoo is.
My hair looks like a freaking supermodel.


But now i am back to baking soada.

And so my hair is fumpy and crunchy.


Gotta decide between cancer or great hair.


ITS ROUGHHHH


Speaking of which.

In my healthful living class we are talking about... healthful living and how much what you eat effects all aspects of your life.



So im pretty much converted to a farmers market GRANOLA girl.


BLARGGG I WENT TO WINCO THE OTHER DAY!!!!


80 miles round trip.

WINCO  needs to pay me for how much i do for them


...or at least refund my 7 dollars  I spent on the freaking key game!





SO ADDICTIVE.

Iwantanipaddddddd


I love status updates about finals.



"Oh, you have finals ? Thats crazy and peculiar. "


WE ALL HAVE FINALS. YES FINALS WEEK
 IS STRESSFULLLLLL.





Uhm.



Lets just talk about how feisty I am.


Im like.... feisty for the underdogs.


Like when people pick on other people i go into like overdrive to stand up for them.....

its weirddd man.....



Im ok with it.....




I really hate when people dont think the same way as I do....But then i remember that they are the same way towards me...and that makes me hypocrite.

Why cant everyone just me as enlightened as me?!?!



Wanna hear my to-do list ?

• write Huck Fin paper.
• prepare for "Broadway Bound"
• learn a Shakespeare monologue
• learn how to spell "monologue" without the computers help
• prepare a ballad and a monologue for my PT auditions
• get a bucket handy to throw up in for when i think about my PT auditions.
• rock the center part so i have no fear ever.
• get off topic on my to-do list.
• send in a resume to PT (unrelated to my audition)
• paint a tree on my bedroom wall
• save money for my sweet AAAAA trip to Europe.
• sell stuff to make more money
• be nicer to people
• have killer confidence

Thats all...



WHAT YOU ARE AUDITIONING FOR PHX THEATER?


mhm.


sorry, i had to wipe the vomit off my key board.




WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO EUROPE?


heck yeah! I will be sure to tell you more in the near future.



WHAT YOU GOT ALL DEM FELLAS CHASSIN?


shoooooot. u kno.




So I've started parting my hair down the center.

Plus: It gives me MONSTROUS confidence

Minus: I am a biotchhh to everyone cuz i think im hot ishhhhhh.


Whattterrrrr you gonna do.




im gonna go do more productive stuff.



My life is really easy and good.

All of thees lines across my face

I love water.
And i never drink enough of it.


Today was weird.
I dont think i had enough water.

and then I went to goodw....


back up.


a week ago i was at goodwill.

I found this precious deep coral satchel.
Very classy.
it was 6$





and i knew it would be half off on green day.

So im like. Ill wait.

and get it for 3 dollars.



and so i hid it said a little prayer and walked away.



SIDE FRICKEKKENEFMND NOTE.
I was under the impression....that Goodwill had a different color off everyday.

apparently its every week...?!?!!!? im so lost.and heartbroken.

anyway.



so i left my dream bag.



and so i came back today.
and went to where i hid it.


AND ITS GONE.


and i look all over
no luck.


so im heart broken.

What i didnt tell you is that i hid 2 bags.

I found bag number 2.


but i never found the coral bag.


i was so heart broken. (ididnotbuiybag#2outofprotest)


I could not mentally grasp that someone else owned this bag.



Everyone reacts to break ups differently.

Some people instantly bad mouth the other, or go rebound.


My reaction was shopping and sleep deprivation.


Not the healthiest or cheapest outlet.

however i have some rockin outfits now.

And ive been doing a lot of late night Pilates.



Anyway.




You think it would be gradual.


But its not.


It comes in waves.


Which is the worst part.




point of the story is i never found the bag.

i hope who ever bought it is loving it a lot.

When I was a child I stayed wide awake ,climbed to the highest place

THINGS NEED  RIGHT NOW:

• coral pants
• mint pants
• hipster glasses
• stripped shirts
• lace shirts
• nude pumps 
• nude flats.
• sheer patterned/plain shirts
• coral nail polish
• mint nail polish
• black nail polish

I feel like the only answer to my problems is to go blond. Like a a golden ash blonde. 

FORGET IT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

blond girls can wear so much more and do so much cuter hair styles.

Wanna know a weird secret.

I dont sleep anymore.

I know why, too.

I literally choose not to sleep.

I NEED TO MAKE MORE MONEY SO I CAN SHOP MORE.

I learned in school, what i have is called a "soft addiction."

Today i got discouraged/frustrated/upset/bitter/apathetic about a certain situation, the scardy-pant side of me was like "JUST QUIT" and the strong side of me was like "quit wishing it was easier/better/fairer and just DO IT" 

so for now im just gonna go for it.

im so sleepy.

my body is like "just go to sleep."   but my mind is like "no this is better, look at all thees cute clothes you can own and then you wont be alone anymore."

Side note.

Dont tell anyone I said this - but i watched my  RENT dvd tonight.

UHM, IMMA HOTTIE.

You know when your like "Im chunkin up, look at my flabby arms.,..."

UHM NO IMMA FRICKEN BEAST. MAKES SENCE WHY I HAVETA FIGHT THEM FELLAS OFFFFFFFAAAME.

The other day after some conversation,my dad seriously implied that I had had a one night stand with someone, i cringed, said "i would be ashamed of me if i were you and id done that" made a nasty nasty face and then said 

"dad, i dont do "hook up's" I got a lot of fellas kockin and they gotta pay there dues before they can get all up on this." (as i puckered out my lips *making a ghetto face* and body rolled gesturing to all my lady bits.)

and my parents just started laughing and saying they want to video tape me so we can get a tv show.

I said " you would wanna cash in on thissssss. "

Parents will exploit there children for so little theese days.

I have to go to sleep.

and get therapy.

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger

I had forget how dumb boys are.


Let me clarify.


I forgot how young and nasty boys are.


I was talking to this guy and i made some joke about cuddling,
His reply: "Thats all we would do.....cuddle?"


BARFORAMMA.


I was like "annnnnnnd im done."


When people find out Im single now they always ask if Im looking for a new guy.
And the answer is a big fat nooooo


And I will tell you why.


When you think of what you want in a significant other, you think of the things you want to agree on, like religion and how many kids you want and gay marriage  annndd all sorts of big stuff

I dont know myself well enough to answer a  lot of those questions. (Except for gay marriage. I know I support gay marriage [In fact, thats actually a question i ask on a first date, and if they dont agree, i already know there will be no second date.]) . Thus i cant find similarities in a boy, cuz i havnt even found them in myself.

Is this making sence?

The point of the story is.

I have to grow up and learn a lot about myself first.



And boys need to be nicer.

And less gross.









*DISCLAIMER*iknowtherearegoodboysouttherewhoarnttoolbagsandimsorryyouhadtobethrownintothelot.iaknowladgeyourgoodness.