I aint in it for the minute, I pass up the gimmicks

Wanna hear a funny story?


I was working sale Saturday, and this guy came through my line, as guys often do.
He was probably about 26 (just where I like em) His face was OK, but I liked his style better
He was buying nothing but ties. We started talking about how we both only shop at goodwill and how much consumerism sucks. He informed me he works in retail too. When I asked him where he hesitantly replied "...fascinations..."


I slyly said "My major is sex education, you arent gonna weird me out"

We laughed a bit more and then I gave him his change and he scampered off out the doors.


About 8 minutes later I look up and he is in my line again.

I asked if something had been wrong with the previous transaction. He said "No I just decided I needed one more."


I honestly thought nothing of it as I scanned it and handed him his receipt.

He thanked me and then confidently said "Oh, and this is for you."
With that, he slid me a folded piece of paper, smiled and walked away.


I opened the paper to find his name, his number and a doodle of suspenders and ties.


I instantly thought two things.

1, "Boy number"
2. "He spend a-whole-nother dollar just to give me his number"


I slide it in my back pocket and proceed to tell all of my fellow cashiers and my manager who doesn't believe I have game.


It was some excitement amid my 9 hour shift.


I think nothing of this number.
I have enough on my plate, and I really have no interest in any more friendships that aim to lead to relationships than I already have. So I go about the next day completely normal. Run some errands, do some laundry, catch up on homework.


Tonight I come home and tell Nathan the story.
He asks "So, have you text him!?!?!"


"Heck no, I dont need anymore men in my life!"

"You have to message him, it doesn't get anymore movie than this"

"Rape is real." I said as I shoveled bean dip into my mouth.

Eventually I decided I would text this guy.
So I go into my room looking for my work pants. Im looking for then in their usual spot (aka the floor) I cant find them until suddenly I remember they are in a new pile.


My freshly washed clothes.


"No way." I think to myself.


I check the pockets.


No where to be found.




And Nathan said it couldn't get any more like a movie.

Welcome to the new age

This is my life lately.

Brushing my drying hair at stop lights.
Texting late apology texts while driving the freeway on-ramp
Packed lunches.
Lots of trail mix. Lots.
Being dead tired by 9 pm. Finding my bed by midnight.
Recognizing the coincidence of seeing my immediate family.
Taking showers for the sole purpose of knowing I wont have an opportunity anytime soon.
Realizing seeing anyone who lives outside of the phoenix metropolis is literally not possible.
Having the next week filled before its even Monday.
Doing homework as I walk to class.
Constantly having my work clothes in my car.Or on my body.
Always having to budget my time during a social encounter.
Microwaves.
Smelling shirts before I put them on.
Thinking the interior of my car is the only one who knows the happenings of my life/feelings.
Eating alone. Most of the time.
Exchanges.
Prioritizing.
Saying "no". Lots.
Getting excited I got around to trimming my finger nails.
Hearing older people tell me this isn't even hard yet.


And I'm sure it isn't.










And she still finds time to blog...

I got the eye of the tiger,a fighter.

Its funny, the more educated I become as a "feminist" the more I am actually defending men.


So today I was squirming to get homework done right before the start of the class. I plopped down in some random chair next to thees two girls my age who were casually chatting. I started doing my gender studies homework answering questions about the effects of the media on woman, when I cant help but overhear this girls conversation.

She talks about how hard her life has been in the last year .How she moved out with her boyfriend of 4 months even tho her parents hated him, then 4 months later he kicked her out. She went on to explain when she went back to get her things there were girls all over the apartment who he had obviously been sleeping with. She went on to explain how hard her life was after that. She then said "I hate men. They are all douchebags. Seriously, like I cant stand men."


Ohhhhhh take a breathe Britanee.


Look, I am jaded myself. I have been used before. I have been hurt before.
But let me tell you.
All men are not douche-bags.

You are just a stupid girl with low standards.

(disclaimer:Its not your fault, you were raised in a pretty crummy society who taught you terrible ways to get a man)

For some reason this has been on my mind a lot. I cant stand when girls say "Guys are such jerks, Im done with them"

I keep hearing all thees stories, like "My boyfriend had sex with another girl while I was laying right next to him"


GIRL.
HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVER DATE A MAN CAPABLE OF THAT?
AND HOW DID YOU NOT GET UP AND WALK THE EFFFF OUT.

They tell this story to me like I should feel bad for them...

Its really hard for me to sympathize, because I have really only ever had ONE awful experience with a boy, and I take full responsibility for LETTING him use me. I knew a man who would only meet me after midnight in secret was badddddnews.
I let myself get used.
And honey, it only took ONE time for it to never happen again.


All these girls talk about how terrible there boyfriends were to them.

I have never once had a boyfriend treat me terribly.My past boyfriends have had flaws, for sure, but they never disrespected me or treated me badly. Nor would I ever have let them...

Part of it is me being lucky, and another part of it is I don't surround myself with men who have the potential to mistreat me.
I know there are situations where its out of your control, or when you never saw it coming. But for the most part -Have more respect for yourself and hold to your standards (which hopefully are not as flimsy as you are)


Dont sit there in your pity party, figure out what you could have done differently and LEARN from it.

Girls wonder how they get used, because they are so blind. All yo little friends try tellin you and yo bitch asssss dont listen.

Start listening.

Its okay you got fooled, but its not okay that you didn't learn from it.

Dont make excuses for a man just because he is gorgeous and gives you butterflies.
Dont ignore the red flags.
Dont feel bad for sticking to your standards. Even if it makes him feel bad, or its an uncomfortable situation.
You don't owe him anything.
Dont tell yourself you will defend your self-worth next time, start now.





Because all girls are heartless whores,right?