Then I was young and unafraid

When I was a senior in highschool, My young woman leaders had us wright a letter to ourselves to read in a year. I lost it.
Lately, I have been feeling super lost, I dont know what I want to do schooling wise, or career wise.
Im just not feeling like myself.
So I looked for my patriartichal blessing to read.( im not even gonna try to figure out how to spell that shish)
Upon looking for my patriartiichal blessing, I found the letter I wrote to myself almost 2 years ago.

Lets just say I was one smarrrrt 17 year old.



1/19/2011
Dear Me,
Man this is a big year for you. Graduating  Growin up. Right now Im listening to HSM2 while my young woman chatter in the background. I am so excited to see who you become. Things are gonna be crazy different by the end of this year, they better all be things you're proud of. I hope this summer is crazy memorable,make the most of it and do a lot of growing up. Please do whats best for you and not what may be best for others. Remember the person you want to be, and keep it in all you're decisions.
Its going to be nice to read this again, after the real tough decisions have been made. I really hope you find the courage to do what you know you need to. You can do it. Keep the good friends you have, and make lots of new ones.I hope you go out of your comfort zone and love it, and I hope you figure it all out.
Remember your standards and morals.Strengthen them. Dont be like all the other girls. Dont sell yourself short no matter how lonely you are  or how bad you want it to work. 
Strive to be a woman your family will be proud of,that people can look up to and depend on.
Have a lot of fun, enjoy the people around you,they are all very temporary. Appreciate them. Work to make others feel special. Always keep a level head. Be confident. 

Be who you want to be.

See ya in a year. 






I knew myself really well when I was 17.
I was scared to read this when I found it.

She came in threw the bathroom window

So the other night I was working on my research paper, which I planned to work on all night,when Taylor suggested we go play ultimate Frisbee.
I never turn down an oppritunity (how the balls do you spell that damn word.I give up) to show boys I am better at them than something ,so I agreed.
We get there....and this is not your average ultimate Frisbee  This is all full grown men with like muscle milk and a rating system The kind that dont come to chit chat-they come to play.
So im already a little intimidated.
Not to mention I am one of two females, and the other is like....the ultimate woman.
Pffft.


Anyway, I end up making really good friends with a few of my team mates,and so they feel inclined to include me despite my shouting "Im not good dont throw me the frisbee!".
And eventually they did throw me the frisbee.
I was wearing thees $5 keds with ZERO traction (because they matched my pants) a decision I instantly regretted and I began falling backwards towards the Arizona grass(concrete).

For real, instantly blacked out, saw neon green and blue stars and circles, and then came to.
Here is the order of my thoughts:

• You REALLY DO see stars
• ouch
• cussing
• get up britanee, your gonna look like a girl

So I get up, start cracking jokes, which I don't remember, and trying to make sense of what my brain was projecting as eye sight.

Image if your sight was a wet oil painting and someone just came up and started sloshing certain sections of it.

And my left arm was tingling 

That lasted for a bit.

I go up to Tay and say "Hey...we should probably leave after this watermelon washer..."

Taylor replies "Hmmmm....we should have driven separately."

"potato"

So I guess I ran around the field for like 2 more hours. I remember telling some boy "If I didnt have a boyfriend, I might give you a chance" and him replying "If I didnt have a fiance, I would still enjoy you as a friend"

So finally the game is over,and Taylor is driving me home. And Im just chattering and giggling. And then im like IM GONNA THROW UP. I dont remember much else about the ride home.

And then as soon as we got out of the car and got home I started shouting "MOM" 

I get into her room and my dad says "moms asleep"

And I said "Mom I have a concussion"

I have never seen my mom sit up so quickly.

And then I just started balling.

And saying the eff word.

and making jokes 

and repeating "I have to write an essay. I have to write an essay. Im gonna die in my sleep. I shoulda slept with Sean Ryan when I had the chance"

My parents thought it was really funny,actually. 

So then they are telling Taylor to take me to the emergency room and Taylor is like..."ehhhhh" and im like "EFF YO THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU PIECE OF GARBAGE!"

And I didnt want my parents to have to stay up, cuz they have jobs.

So i just told them to wake me up every 3 hours, and I would go finish my research paper.

Then i looked up and I was at the computer and I was like...."how'd I get here....fingers make letters."

So then I started IMing my man friend,and jen

and they both are like "You psycho go to the hospital  And I was like I love you. Im not quite sure which one I said that to...

SO Jen, who lives in FLORENCE comes and gets me.

Sean Ryan  was going to , but i told him not to cuz he had work the next morning.

That and I did not want him to see my crying.

And shouting... apparently I had no control my vocal volume.

SO jen takes me to the hospital, and I guess I was just humming a lot to the nurses.

Anyway I got a CT scan. I wonder how much radiation is in that.....

And it came back fine

SO they were like...take some tylonal.

And i was like 

OI CUVULT 

and so I went home at 4 in the morning and fell asleep.

And then woke up for 10 am class.

I dont remember a lot. 

And even still, my memory is still groggy. I forget things that happened throughout the day.Its wicked hard to focus. Like i can not process my own thoughts and what someone else is saying to me. So people will just be talking to be and Ill start telling them a story that will take all my effort to finish. Also my head hurts like a mofo.I still have light and sound sensitivity. And my neck is the worst, I cant even lift my head up.
The weirdest part is that I have no appetite.
Like... I only eat food cuz Im like... "I havnt eaten in 12 hours....I should take care of that"
Is that a normal side effect?

My mom fell on her head once, and she has been retarded ever since, so i hope that doesn't happen to me...

But i mean, we all turn into our mothers, dont we....

And that is the sad reality of life. 

Pack it up -Pack it in

I have to wake up in 6 hours to go half off day shopping at goodwill.


Funny how I have had no job for 4 months, but i still find some GW money.


IMMA WORK FOR DEM RAGSSSS


So whats new since that time we talked.....


Hmmm.
I have a boyfriend.
I like him lots.


The first date he ever took me on, we walked outside and there were fireworks.
How could he have NOT turned out to be my boyfriend?

That and Kristen Schaal TOLD me to date him.
How can I say no to Kristen Schaal


He holds my hand while he's driving - even tho he drives a stick.


*smiles*



ENOUGH OF THAT.



Everyone is mad at Hostess going out of business?

2 Earth shattering things facebook has so delicately informed me of:

• Osama bin laden is dead.
• Hostess is going out of business. 

Maybe the man who is married to the woman who runs the anti-obesity program will bail them out.
Where is all our High Fructose Corn Syrup gonna go?(the gulf has suffered enough)
I dont think their target audience is gonna organize a picket line. (HAH FAT PEOPLE)
Wait,so we shouldn't have used Twinkies to soak up hurricane sandy?

lets see what else I got....
Im out.
(the last one is really just meant to imply we have bigger problems.I dont really know of anyone who used Twinkies as a direct result of the storm. Bless to everyone effected.)

*falls to the ground*
WHO CAN WE POSSIBLY BLAME FOR THIS?!?!?!


If you look at what has caused the biggest uproars this year....Its all about food. Well....food associated with gay rights.
Twinkies.


Well, that and the presidential elections....but I mean that ties back to food too...so...and gay rights....





Im only gonna give this 1 sentence. Because....Its all it really deserves...


"Im a teacher and I think its the best idea to have my students to a presentation at the end of the year and Im the only teacher who thinks so and my student will learn a lot and wont be overwhelmed because no other teachers assign presentations at the end of the year"



If there was ever any doubt that Satin exists. Stay in your classes until December.




I just wanna craft all night.
But  i cant.
Cuz Im sleepy.
And Im waking up for goodwill.

here is what i want to buy:

• big sweaters
• boots
• pea coat(thing)
• present
• scarves
• big sweaters

The end.

MR SUN, SUN, MR GOLDEN SUN

So, I spontaneously-ish jumped on a plane on Friday morning to Spokane, Washington.
This girl had a seizure on the flight.
AT LEAST IT WASNT A TERRORIST ATTACK.



Or an inside government job.




So I walk out of the airport.
ITS ALL WHITE.
LITERALLY SNOW EVERYWHERE.

My first thought "I did not pack for this" as I looked down at my measly jacket and scarf.

Then my sister picked me up and we made the 2 hour drive to Moscow Idaho.


It was respectable.


ITS SO COLD HERE.

HOLY BALLS I DONT KNOW HOW ANYONE FOCUSES ON ANYTHING.


I was working out with my sister Friday night and she says "Im kind of a workout junkie.....Well, more like a work out clothes junkie."


OH MY GOSH.

MOSCOW IDAHO HAS THE ALL TIME COOLEST CO OP

A co op, is a local, organic store....
I dont...know how to better describe it.


I seriously start squealing every time I walk in.

They have everything I could ever want.

Its so trendy.
And there is a "Just out of the closet" gay cashier , AJ, and Im slowly trying to show him its okay to be gay in the big towns!!!

My brother in law Steve is sitting next to me and we are all out of root-beer and he goes    "Britanee, you have no morals, go buy me root beer"


I think Im gonna do it....



CUZ THEN I COULD GO TO THE CO OP

I hope AJ is there.  

Maybe I will draw him a rainbow.


They only have one Goodwill here.
Makes sense why everyone is dressed the way they are.




THE CHILDREN ARE OUT NUMBERING THE ADULTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                                                                          

Then it hits me like "oh"

The moral of the story is that it is 4:30 am in the morning...

And Im still sitting here in my winter hat with dangley balls....


Things I need badly by tomorrow:

• multiple pea coats.(burgundy,brown,black)
• scarves
• head scarves
• new shoes that don't fall apart when people step on them
• to do my physiology power point 

I was bored, so I read a blog from a year ago....

It wasn't my favorite mode of killing time.....

Things were deffinitly very different...... 

CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT HOW FRICKEN HARD IT IS TO SPELL DEFFFINITLY.

IM NOT EVEN GONNA TRY ANYMORE

but my blogs back then were really funny.

Apparently I am getting less funny as I grow up.

Thats a bummer.

But i still have like....a ton of sex appeal....

so.....

I said the most outrageous things! 

Like... I wouldn't say those things now...

Im too worried people would judge me

WHO HAVE I BECOME.

Im going backwards.

Man, I really peaked in the summer of 2012.

Danm, I was perfect.

Good thing I was too emotionally scared to do anything stupid.

This blog is going weird places...

Very much veering from its original path..... 

I cant go to sleep.

I just keep listening to that hurricane song. 

WTF would you do if a plane crashed into your house.

Like for real...

What the hell.

I mean, one time my house almost burned down...

but...those are hardly the same. 

So my antibiotics are making me sick...

SO i think im gonna stop taking them.

But then my acne might come back

And I will feel super ugly.

I think i may be superficial enough at this point to suffer sickness in order to have a clear face.

THIS BLOG IS GETTING TOO HONEST. 

I just wrote like 2 paragraphs concerning the uterus of myself and others...

But deleted it after deciding....I didnt even wanna get into that story....

WOMAN ARE SUPERIOR TO MEN IN LIKE 75 WAYS.

The only reason im glad Im not a boy is because they have to pay for dates.

But i dont even hold boys to that....

I can get behind going dutch.

But that is because my toes are very independent. 

and i dont want them to think I owe them anything....

ya know....

like...

sex.

NO SIR I will buy my OWN frozen yogurt cuz you aint gettin any!

Why am I not tired.....

Its friggen 5 in the morning.

I think....I think if i dont go to bed....the time to do my homework wont come...

Its still coming....

*dance break to hurricane song *

Yeah....that'll do it.

Im ready to go to sleep.

And are we there yet?

This is to all my funny girls.
I have been fortunate enough to meet a lot of hilarious, surprisingly strong teenage females.

One of my proxy little sisters was telling me how she was joking around at a bonfire and some boy made fun of her (I cant remember the exact situation).

And she said "I just kept doing what I was doing, cuz he is just a stupid high school boy"

I dont know if I was that smart in highschool....

I remember no boys had crushes on me, because I was loud and made better jokes than them and was admittedly awkward....
And I remember thinking no boys would ever like me, because my personality just didnt fit what boys want out of a girl.
I thought that boys wanted the stereotypical cardigan wearing quiet Mormon girl who curled her hair and did her makeup every morning and had never heard of "pre-made cookie dough"

Luckily, it made me give up on caring if boys had crushes on me and just being myself.

Which it turns out, boys like a lot.


I mean.... a lot.....



So this is to all the girls who only went to the Girl-ask-Guy dances, and thought they were too fat for some guy to ever give them a chance



Im saying outside of Mountain View or whatever closed minded high school you go to, there are lots of boys who like a funny, outspoken girl who rarely wears make up.
And they like them a lot better than cardigan wearing robots....


So dont wear a cardigan if you dont want to.
And dont think you cant wear a duck suit to school because the football player in your British literature class will undoubtedly make fun of you....

Wear your duck suit.
Make lots of jokes
And realize you are really fricken awesome, and boys are gonna be linin up down the block for you in the near future.

Here comes the sun, here comes the rain

Remember that time I used to blog?


Dude.

Its been forever.

If its any consolation I have started about 7 blogs that have never been posted.


So MFY closed. I LOVED that stinkin show.
Alice Miller was probably my favorite character I've played.
Here is some highlights of what you may have missed. '

http://vimeo.com/51664956




Every day I get a little more sure that taking a break (leaving) musical theater is a good idea.
The people are so friggen catty.

Gross.



What else.
I am starting to SLOWLY catch up in school.
Emphasis on the slowly.

Oh! Today, I had a meeting with Professor Hottie. And I totally held eye contact. He wasnt paying me very much attention tho. He was checking his email and phone and stuff.
Chicks aint into that yo.
Especially because he doesn't allow phones in his class...
Like I pay you the same respect fool!
Who am I kidding, I cant stay mad at him


He was in a half zip turtle neck.
Here is my thought process
"Can you explain the creatin kinease pathwa.......*stop looking at his sweater you freak........* pathway?"

mmmmm



My Halloween consisted of eating lots of Mormon chili and then doing homework.

Im not mad about it.




I haven't been blogging, because my life is very boring.




There is this cute boy i spend lots of time with.
He's not boring.
More data to follow.



And , I should be starting my bank job soon.


So....thats exciting.



REAL LIFE.



I THINK IM GONNA GET THE NEWYORK SKYLINE TATTOOED ON MY BODY.


YOLO.



Everyone is naked under their clothes.

I'll be your silver,I'll be your gold.

Reason I cant sleep:

• WINCO opens tomorrow.
• I cant wait for my date on friday

end of list.

Things I will buy IN BULK  at WINCO

• FLAXSEED
• BAKING SODA
• GLUTEN FREE PASTA
• CANDY 
• NUTS
• QUINOA
• HONEY
• PEANUT BUTTER
• things to juice cuz i baught a juicer
• ANYTHING I WANT

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IVE WAITED FOR THIS?

I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS

HOLY EFF

ALMOST A YEARS ANTICIPATION

MY LIFE IS GONNA CHANGE...DRASTICALLY.

how many times have i went to purchase something and think "this would be so much cheaper at WINCO.

THE ANSWER IS EVERY TIME I PURCHASE ANYTHING.

bulk bulk bulky-bulk bulk bulk.

Imagine me singing that.

This is exactly what I needed.


The sun will be shining, birds will be chirping.,


IM GONNA LIVE THE LIFE IVE ALWAYS WANTED.



so tired. so sleepy.

cant think
cant function.

Savings forever.


BLESS.

Ghetto booty, but she came from the burbs

There is something about a morning when you wake up knowing your gonna hafta work your butt off that day.

Today was one of those days.

The best part of those days is the part where it ends.

(for the most part)

Today was my first physiology exam.

Not joking, I carboloaded for this thing. 

I dont joke around when it comes to exams.

Its a sweaty, bloody battle. 

I did very well, but was caught off guard by some questions. 

Im gonna guess i get a 92.

Im hooooooopiinggggg im not setting my expectations too high.

I finished my exam last...because I may have been over thinking some questions slash double checking my work slash wanted to be alone with my instructor.

Yeah, isnt that disturbing?

I went up to my instructor and said "I have a question which may be offensive, but its not intended to be...."

and then..... he laughed

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I proceeded to tell him I had done this calculation 462 times and kept getting the EXACT SAME ANSWER, which was one decimal off from his multiple choice answer.

he said "462 times?"

I said "Thats an exact number, not an estimate."

He replied "My calculator is probably more precise than your's, but yes, your correct to choose the closest answer."

Id put money on it, that he will recalculate it for fun, and realize I was right.

And then he will be enamored with me.  

The girl who is smarter than him.

hahahaha. 

In other equally as exciting news, as I was walking out of my next class, a boy who has "Instructor Hotties" class asked me "How'd you do on the exam?"

I turn around to the most attractive boy that has talked to me in probably 5 months.

My thought process "Don't eff this up. This is your chance. Be natural. Turn on the charm. Casually mention you know how to change a flat tire on your own. And your single but not looking for anything serious."

"I did respectable. I was caught off guard by some questions"

"Oh yeah me too! Like the planes of motion"

Already have one thing in common. Im terrible with planes of motion.

He continues to say "He taught us like 6 planes of motion,so i didnt know which one Id need to know...

Wrong. He told us exactly the names to know.

"Yeah. I know. Totally."

We continued to talk for apx 3 minutes.

What a dream boat.

Lemme lay it down for you.

Reasons why Britanee will go into nutrition as opposed to performing:

• I have lots of uses for money
• I dislike many traits of people I meet in performing atmospheres
• I dislike the confinements of an actor 
• Boys in nutrition are straight.

The last reason is perhaps the most compelling.

I am surrounded by nothing but muscular heterosexual boys all day in nutrition classes.

The only downside is Im smarter than most of them.

So now Im at home.Sippin on my water and crushed ice, listening to the Mamas and papas, rewarding myself for all my hard work today.

Even though there is lots more hard work to do.

My sister and her husband and her 4 kids are coming on Thursday!

I CANT WAIT IM SO EXCITED.

The only downside is the copious amounts of cleaning to be done.

LIFE IS ONLY ABOUT PRETENDING TO BE WHAT YOUR NOT (I.E. A HOUSE CLEANER.)

Not...like...as a profession...just like as a pass time.

I dont want this to be offensive to anyone....

like.....my sister lived with us for 20 years...and we still clean when she comes to visit...

Guys, I think she knows how we really live....

My life is busy. 

But its filled with moments where I think to myself

 "That made me grow up." 

Ma said I aint right, clutchin on you all night

Drinking a soda a day doubles your risk of type II diabetes.

Cows can not live off of corn (which is 65% of their diet) for more than 120 days without complications (such as ulcers) to treat this, the corn they are fed is infused with antibiotics

Cows ingest 70% of the antibiotics in America.

And then you eat them....

A t-bone steak of a grain-fed cow is roughly 9% saturated fat, as opposed to a grass fed cow, which is 1% saturated fat.



Food is gross.


On the bright side,I went into my hardest class today with my list of questions for the instructor...and I answered all of them myself.
Here is how the conversation went

"Ok Im super confused, so if it is energy expended on a horizontal treadmill all you do is .1 times the speed plus 3.5 for walking and if its running its .2 times speed plus 3.5?"


He says "I know no scientific deffinition for 'super' although I have heard it used often. I'd say you are in fact not 'super confused', you in fact know exactly what your talking about."


"It was just luck, I guess...."


And then as I walked out of class He stopped me and told me "Not super confused - super confident"


*faintsssss*

Im so in love with him.

So, I am less worried about completely bombing his test.



Keep on a-chuggin.

I wake up gasping for air.

I dont know if its only girls who think like this but the reason i freak out about 1 exam is because: if i fail the exam>i get a poor grade in the class>which hurts my GPA>which effects my scholarship chances>which costs me lots of money> which takes me longer to make money> which takes me longer to be self dependent>which takes me longer to start my life>which means no man will ever love me

So failing this one exam.....is gonna put me behind schedule by like 3 years and 50,000$ and never having love again.


BRITANEE YOU ARE CRAZY.


Things Britanee needs to do:

• ask more questions
• procrastinate less
• read more textbooks
• time manage
• stop being on facebook 
• stop looking in mirrors
• breath

Turns out being madly attracted to your teacher leads to not being able to form sentences allowing you to communicate your confusion.

The other day I had to turn in a paper to him and he reached out for it and I said "THIS IS FOR YOU"

Duh you dumb ho, he was already reaching for it! 

At least I didnt call him MY name.

WHY DO TEACHERS MAKE YOU DO PRESENTATIONS?

Its like starting off the course with a wrecking ball dangling above your head.....

"Oh you know the end of the semester when your most stressed out, Im gonna be like EVERY OTHER TEACHER YOU HAVE and make you do a heavy grade altering presentation!"

Go to sleep.

and i think my nervouse system is .....dying.....CUZ THE TIPS OF MY FINGERS AND TOES BURN LIKE SOMEONE IS PUSHING BAMBOO UNDER THEM.

Im gonna start crying.

LETS HOPE I DONT HAVE ANOTHER RAPE DREAM .

Yeah, thats a thing now. 

Im getting raped in my dreams.

And I scream for my brothers, but i don't make any noise.

CUTEEEEEEEEEE.

Lets recap.

Britanee- do your best in your classes. don't hang out in warehouses where rappests tend to be. become a single mother to get a scholarship. Or drop out of college and marry a politician and raise his babies and be miserable. At least there is no math involved. Just tears.

DAY #7 OF MY PERIOD.

Sweet dreams, readers.

If I could just breath, instead I sink down

Why am i writing this?
I have no idea.



My acting 1 class is like being in a math class that only teaches addition and subtraction.

"What is a monologue? Why do we do them? What is a play separated into?"


I WANT TO SHOOT MY FACE.

Not to mention straight actors are freaking weirdos.

I mean, theater kids in general are weirdos.
but straight play actors literally make me uncomfortable.

I think its because they take themselves so seriously.
They all wear blazers with graphic tees and act like a theater degree is going to get them somewhere.
They all sit forward in their seats with their chin resting on their curled fist with this look on their face like the instructor is giving this enlightening life saving information.
They all take notes and ask pointless questions and act like their memorization technique is better than anyone elses.

I'll say it. I think Im better than them. I think I know more and I think Im more talented.


However, I dislike musical theater kids because they all think they are better than everyone...

I guess Im a musical theater kid.


The other day I had to ask my acting instructor if I could leave early for a rehearsal and this dumb girl says "I think if she gets to leave early we all get to leave early" all snarky like craining her neck at me....
And I said " I think if  you got cast in a show and had a rehearsal to go to , than you should leave early too. Whats the point of this class- to learn how to act....Im about to leave class....to go act."


SO SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, GIRL.
NO ONE LIKES YOU AND YOUR STUPID MEMORIZATION TECHNIQUE AND YOUR INTOLERANCE FOR HOMOSEXUALS AND YOUR HOMEWRECKING MOTHER.
WHEN YOU LAND A ROLE YOU CAN COME AT ME, OTHERWISE STICK TO BAKING AND SCRAPBOOKING ON ALL DAYS BUT SUNDAY.




Oh and let me fill you in on a little secret, that boy you sit next to and flirt with everyday LIKES BOYS.

Was this really all I had to blog about?




The more I'm around performers the more I realize I generally dont like them.....





Im beginning to get crazy overwhelmed with school.


You know how you made the right choice by turning a guy down?
His reaction.
When guys flip out on me and start accusing me of things and going menstruation crazy...Im like....yeah.....I made the right decision......

Overall: given up on mesa men.

barforama.



I think im gonna go look at my homework and then walk past it.






Thats it for today.

All will be well,even after all the promises you've broken to yourself.

Im always smarter after Ive done homework.
Seriously.
Text me before Ive written an essay and then after...
you'd think you were talking to two different people.

I use interrupters and all kindsa stuff.


I singed up for a free Barack Obama bumper sticker today



http://www.barackobama.com/free-bumper-choice?source=socnet_20120902_BO_FB_BUMPER_STICKERS_SIGNUP&utm_medium=fb&utm_source=bo_fb&utm_campaign=socnet_20120902_BO_FB_BUMPER_STICKERS_SIGNUP


You can too.


I got the LGBT one.
Now people will think the girl who drives the blue saturn station-wagon is a lesbian.


Thats fine.


Im trying very hard not to have a bad attitude about tuesdays and thursdays.

So far I am doing well   trying

I talked to a lot of people in my first class (uh...it was a lab, I had to.)
We took each others blood pressure with a cuff and a stethoscope.
I loved it!
Made me feel like a surgeon.

Then in my next class with my Lover, I had been super frustrated because we are learning excersize formulas (to figure work output, power output, all sorts of crazy stuff) and i was beyond lost and discouraged.

Today he walked into class and re-taught every formula step by step. We got through 3 formulas in an hour and 15 minutes.

However, I no longer feel like I am in another country in that class. I get the formulas now.
Aside from being a major stud, he is a really good teacher.

And then I went to my stupid nutrition class with my stupid teacher.
But.
The boy next to me said hi and asked me how I was...
I froze....

"I....Im good. How are you?"

Smooth right?
And then I asked him about MSG.


I dunno guys, i really dont know where I get my mad game.

I am ridiculously shy/quiet on tuesdays and thursdays.

I don't even recognize myself.


I watched new girl today and remembered how hilarious it is.
Oh Zoe.....


Im gonna try this new thing where I dont say anything bad about a person for 1 whole day

wait, we'l get back to that


So I was at this party, right?

And me and an old friend decided to jump in the pool because its an outdoor party and we are friggen HOTTTTT
So we jump in and this guy jumps in with us, and I started talking to him, and he completely shut me down, in fact he swam away from me.

Thats fine, you was just somethin to pass the time with fool.



Anyway, he starts hitting on my friend (whos got a rockin body and a gorgeous face)  telling her shes beautiful and does nothing but stares at her butt,and she bats her eyes and smiles and then is called into the house and leaves the pool.

So this player SWIMS OVER TO ME and starts flirting.
I literally said "Are you freaking kidding me?" and proceeded to get out of the pool.
He follows me out and says "you're beautiful too..."

"Lemme just stop you right there. I know the only reason you are even near me is because she got out of the pool. Dont come up to me like Im some second string default. I know you're regretting your decision now that Im out of the water and you can see my butt, but apparently my face and my conversation were uninteresting a minute ago, and the fact that you think i dont recognize that is insulting. You'd do real well with some game, and Im happy to teach you some when you have free time"

And instantly everyone in the backyard was interested and reacting to this.

So he shoots back "Why does it have to be a game, why cant you treat me as an equal" and starts raising his voice to me.....




Heres my face

And then I walked away.


You can bet fool was chasin after me all night.



IM LIKE ONE OF THOSE GIRLS IN THE MOVIES!






back to what i was saying


Im going to try to go a day where I say nothing bad about anyone.
Lets call it...."tomorrow"


I'll let you know how it goes.



OH
I am gonna be helping out with an Organization called Yes To The Arts which was started by a close friend of mine.
My friend who started it is super inspirational, let alone the entire program, so take a look!

http://www.facebook.com/YesToTheArts





Lifes good, lifes good.

Oh lord, I still dont know what I stand for.

I love being a woman, cuz anytime you start acting crazy you can justify it by saying your on your period (even if you arnt.).


I used to try not to take advantage of it.


But now....



I use it a lot.



As I've already said, I dislike thurdays.
Cuz i have no friends in my health classes.
Even tho im trying to make some.
I think I made 3 today.
I'll take it.
And my hot teacher said "if a girl subscribed to that magazine, Id propose to her tomorrow."
Guess who has a new magazine subscription?
Even tho some girl told me he wont date former students.
Which obviously only leaves me with the choice of a face transplant and a new identity.
Today as all of us were leaving he yelled "Have a good weekend. Think of lots of data. Miss me!"
NONE OF THIS IS THE POINT.

Anyway, I had finally made it through thursday.
So i walk out to my car and try to start it. And it doesnt start.
So i figure its a dead battery.
Walmart auto already told me 2 months ago to get a new one.
BUT I AM SMARTER THAN YOU WALMART SO DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Anyway, so Taylor warns me it probably wont hold a jump cuz the thing is just kapoot.

But i decide i will risk it.
so i go and find a friend, she walks me to her car, and finds she has no jumper cables.
And then we go back inside, and then my teacher says she has jumper cables and walks me out.
And then we get to her car....no cables.
so then i decide i will just wait for my friend to gove me a ride home, then come back and replace the battery.
But, to save time, i figured Id try removing the battery and taking it home with me, so all id have to do is go exchange it and throw a new one in. (saving a lot of time and gas )
Remember all of this is taking place in 100+ weather and I've been walking all over the place trying to find this or that for 2 HOURS.
So i go to my car to try and teach myself how to remove a car battery....and I lock my keys in the car.



I can not tell you how many F words came out of my mouth.


Like, stuff like that only happens in the movies.



*exhales*

Finally, I give up on being self reliant and ask Taylor to come jump my car and escort me home.
Which he does because he is the best brother. He does it  even tho its his gas money and it would make him late for class and he had better things to do.


So i get home.
demoralized.
tired.
starving.



And i remember.....
I MADE MYSELF GLUTEN-FREE PIZZA LAST NIGHT AND I HAVE LEFT OVERS!!!!! YAY FOOD WILL SALVAGE MY AWFUL DAY.


I open the fridge....its no where to be found.



So when I say I am going to smash every belonging of the brother who ate it......I say it because Im on my period.

She'll bang bang bang bang bang anybody in her way.

As all my greatest blogs stem from,I am currently waiting for my air to dry.

I am resisting the urge to eat food.
I LOVE FOOD.

Today I was at a Glee Group (we will get to that later)
and this girl grabs her camera and records Taylor attempting to stretch and says "Im gonna put this on my daily vlog.":


WHY THE EFF DONT I HAVE A DAILY BLOG.


Cuz I have acne.

Man, it would be realty funny, or at least so-so.

DID YOU KNOW WE PLANNED A SURPRISE PARTY FOR NATHAN?


Neither did he.


Isnt that the dream?
A successful surprise party?



But I guess it wasnt enough for Nathan.
He still yearns for bigger things.
If it was me, Id be able to die happy right then and there.
But no, Nathan had ANOTHER party to go to.
Thats what happens when you've done 3 radio interviews.


I dont like Tuesdays and Thursdays because I have no friends in my Health classes and no one talks.
And so when I do try and talk, I get that awkward "I haven't spoken all day" voice
where you try to talk and then you have to clear your throat and everyone instantly hates you.
Its rough.
And everyone acts like they are too cool to answer questions...and so if you try and answer a question, everyone thinks your not cool.

I gotta keep up my street cred.


Tonight I went to a Glee Group at Counterpoint Studio and it was way enjoyable.
I LOVED IT.

Any time I am with friends preparing to or performing, I am overwhelmingly happy.
Even when I cant get the steps right, and I cant hear the harmony I am supposed to be doing.
Sometimes I will be driving somewhere, or sitting somewhere, and I think "Why am I so happy?" And then I remember its because all my time recently has been devoted to things I love, surrounded by people I enjoy.
Even on discouraging days, when I began to doubt myself.I simply take it as an expected step in the process and try to make it only motivate me further.

Rehearsal is going really well for My favorite Year.
I have so much fun in them and try to work really hard.
I feel like I have been well prepared.
Someday soon we should get scripts and that will be helpful.

You should come and see it, I will be there and we can say "Hi!"!


Its very jazzy and funny.
And that is all anyone wants in life.
Besides lots of cheese.




If you can tolerate cuss words and lesbians you should watch DRUNK KITCHEN on youtube.(I'd get you a link but Im so tired)
Not only does it make me laugh really hard.It also makes me a little attracted to women.

The other night I had a dream I was dating a transgender.
A boy to a girl.
I thought it was unusual that I was dreaming about a girl...but she started out as Andrew Garfield.
So I really dont know what I should take away from that.

I will explore both my love for Andrew Garfield and the idea that I might like girls.



Even tho Im pretty sure I dont.
I dislike boobs.

They bore me.

I just dont get it.
I really only want to be a lesbian so all my conservative friends would have to have to realize gay's are people too and not just some Chick-fil-a boycotting sinners who will all burn in hell.




Although I am attracted to Alexis.
She's my number 1.


When you started reading this blog, did you think it would get a little homo?


I didnt see this coming either.



What else do I have to tell you.


Sometimes people share my blog on their facebook, and then they are like "I am a creeper, sorry."
And Im like "No i liked it."

So dont feel bad if you want to show it to everyone (I know I hit my prime a while ago and have since gone steadily down hill. You can blame it on the fact I have no dating life)

Nathan just read this and said "You're so gay."
Thats offensive.
We dont use that word.



WAIT TILL I HAVE A VLOG.

I will be just like NAME THAT HAS LASERS





but totally different.



Im gonna let you in on a secret (uhm ,I dont blame you if you read this blog in 2 parts....its getting prettttty lengthy)


I am so attracted to father aged men.
I call it a "Dad Crush"

I havnt quite determined the definition of that phrase.

I may need to talk it over with someone who has lots of schooling, but anyway, the other day I was introduced to a married man who was very attractive, the salt and pepper type.This was over voice chat online (he's a friend of my brothers)
And me and Nathan start flirting with him.
And he goes and asks his wife (who is in the room) if Shes okay with him and Nathan hooking up.

....Even when a man is clearly married to a woman.....Cant see Nathan...Cant see me.....


THE MAN GOES WITH NATHAN.


Nathan is a witch.

But you don't breath, so you cant leave me.

WE HAVE SO MUCH TO COVER

School started on Monday.
I was outrageously happy.
I was ridiculously friendly to every one I met (including my future boyfriend) and I made a lot of new friends.
M W F are my performing classes  (Broadway solos, acting 1, MFY rehearsal)

As soon as I got to rehearsal, it was like every problem or worry in my life was gone.
I CANT EXPLAIN IT.
I LOVE TO PERFORM , I LOVE THE PROCESS.
Its funny, when Im in performing classes, Im like "I just want to be surrounded by performing my entire life"
But then when Im in my health and nutrition classes (T TH)Im like "I cant wait to get into this field and become a nutritionist and conduct studies and do sports medicine and save the world."

I have a  teacher who I am in love with.
Literally.
I just think about him and I rolling around on each other the entire hour.
Im not ashamed.
I sit in the front row every class.
He also smells good.

He is a huge nerd, and says everything in seconds, as opposed to minutes or hours or even weeks.
But he is hilarious.
Today he was showing us data (like he does every class, he calls it "sexy data") and he showed us some statistics from some study and said "When I saw those words, I literally got excited"
And I (correctly) assumed he meant sexually, so I burst out laughing.
He is ,for those of you who know him, an older hotter nerdier Mr. Epley.
And I am going to do to him, what I never did to Mr. Epley.
Mhmmm.
The other day he was going all crazy about a study, getting all hyped up and he was about to display the results of the study and he looks at me and says "You wanna see it? You wanna see it?"
I said to him "Yes please" big boy.
And he says" I could tell by that smile you wanted it"
Apparently he can read me really well.


So theres that.

I also have a nutrition class, the teacher is like a motherly high school teacher,who cant finish a sentence which is frustrating.But her class is my most interesting subject, and she is way qualified. She works with Lets Move and WIC and all kinds of nutrition organizations, and conducted a nutrition study and UC Burkley.
Also, she doesn't eat meat, and believes meat leads to many various diseases .
I AM 100% IN AGREEMENT.
But it is a very unpopular opinion with an odd amount of backlash.(people go CRAZY when you try to explain this)
As soon as she slyly mentioned her opinions on meat, I knew I liked her.


I picked up Nathan from the airport on Tuesday.
As soon as he was with me, it was like he never left.Except now there is an underlying element of overwhelming happiness and bliss whenever he is with me.



I had missed all of these things so much.
Performing, school, and Nathan

And as soon as they came back, it was like I had nothing to complain about.
Which I dont.




Here are some god songs for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-zZkbcF4fA&feature=related






http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzObsfboaJ0

Cuz look at that pape with my face beamin

This very well might make no sense...cuz I'm pretty sure I'm cuttently typing in HTML. This blog is brought you by my phone,so be prepared for lots of typos and weird stuff. I am currently listening to Celtic women with my family as we drive to Las Vegas for my moms birthday. Little known fact,she's a gambler! But she pays me off to keep me uiet, so I don't complain. However no one is paying me to keep quiet about this Celtic music. My goodness. I HATE it. Monday I auditioned for MFY. I felt completely confident in my audition. I entered the room right, I stood on the right side of the piano, I gave the director a headshot of me with a bra on my head,I sang well, I shmoozed well. The one problem was that I had AWFUL availability to the point where I'd miss 4 of 6 shows. I was extremely discouraged and hated that i had to choose between performing and making decent money.(welcome to growing up) First of all, I Havnt even been given an official start date for my new job. BRITANEE YOU JUMPED THE GUN. SHOULDN'T HAVE QUIT YOUR JOB SO SOON ,FREAK. I actually don't regret quiting my job,oddly enough. That's a story for another time. So, I don't even know when I will be working. I try contacting my manerger, and can't get a hold of her. So I have no idea what to do, thinking either way I'm gonna miss out on a great oppritunity. So I'm out of my mind stressed. Litteraly, I could not sleep, I kept waking up worrying about it.for real, chest pains! Cut line a year offf my life Throughout this entire process I'd been asking a lot of advice from my dad. Seriously, that's how I've kept my sanity. I have been so gratefully to have him to turn to, because its the only thing that gives me relief. Side note: Uhm. A lot of people in my neighborhood have been dying....so every night I go to sleep I pray my parents won't die. When we got in the car to road trip, I even asked my dad what I need to do if they die. It was a really sad conversation but its necessary. Anyway,so my dad gives me some solid advice to go for the show,because that's an offer I know is on the table, and then to hash things out with my employer when that comes up. It's terrifying to be risking so much, but I decided to go with it. So I went to callbacks last night knowing I had some heavy competition,but I had a fighting chance. Lemme tell you, call backs were a FIGHT TO THE DEATH. We both knrw we were up against a lot. And we both BROUGHT IT. And I smacked Thor's butt. So it was a good night all around. I go home,awaiting the cast list that decides a lot for me. But it doesn't come. Jere says "go to sleep" I wake up today, no list ,no call. I'm dying to know. This was the first role I've ever had to "fight for"the first time I felt like I really stood on my own. First time I felt like I deserved it. Finally,the cast list is sent to me. Katie and I had been double casted. Fought to the death for nothing ;) Katie is a phenomenal performer and to be anyway close to her league is flattering. After 3 days of so much stress and indecisiveness, I will officialy be playing Alice Miller in MCCs production of My Favorite Year, along side my best friend Nathan, to mention a grip of other close friends. That is if I survive this gnarly desert rain storm I am currently driving through. Or this Celtic women soundtrack. Today, the pharmacist informed me my new insurance doesn't cover my acne face cream and my total was 150$. I literally started screaming.

Im on the right track, yeah Im onto a winner.

I have been on a gluten free diet since Tuesday.
Its pretty bomb.
Breakfast:
Gluten free cereal that is super delicious (that I ate a month ago in NYC without knowing it was gluten free. So everytime I eat it I am reminded of sitting in the most precious kitchen looking out the window at my precious city)
AND HAZELNUT MILK


Lunch:
Spinach and quinoa with cheese chunks and a balsamic vinaigrette. I ate this for like 10 meals straight and have yet to be sick of it.


Snack:
Nectarines and Cottage cheese
(If I wanted to plant a nectarine tree, what time of year would I do it??! Cuz Ive got quite the collection of nectarine seeds.)


Dinner:

Sausage , quinoa, and kale.
OR
SPINCHQUINOACHEESEVINEGRET
or
Pork and potatoes.(underwhelmed)


Snack:
Bomb gluten-free cookies from Sprouts
Or gluten-free snack bars from sprouts (WHICH HAVE CHIA SEEDS IN THEM.)

PAUSE:
Dude. Chia Seeds are crazzzzzyyyyy good for you. I purchase mine from WINCO . However, I lost my little sack of them I purchased in Idaho and haven't made the 80 mile trip to get some from the WINCO in PHX. Please dear lord let the WINCO by my house open soon. I am panting right now.
UNPAUSE



BRITANEE WHY ARE YOU DOING GLUTEN FREE?
YOU ARE SUCH A FOLLOWER/HIPSTER WHO IS ONLY DOING IT CUZ ITS COOL.
AND ITS NOT EVEN A GOOD PLAN, YOU GONNA BE MALNOURISHED.


I am doing a gluten free diet because there are links between gluten and cystic acne (MY ARCH NEMESIS.) and so Im trying to take care of all of that. I know a few people who have cut out gluten and seen results. So we will see.
Also, I feel really good physically since cutting it out and I've even lost weight.

Ooooot ooooooot.


Things I miss already:
Flour Tortillas.
end of list.


TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY OF WORK AT CINEMARK
whaddawhat?
I have worked there since I was 16.(that comes to 3 years, 2 months, and 1 day.)
So...to not work there is unfamiliar and odd.
It was sad leaving my little nest, and a lot of friends who helped me grow up and such. Especially my manager Ms. Parker, she was my rock, man.
And of course Ive been having really fun shifts lately so Im all sad Im gonna miss all the fun.
But normally there is only minimal fun.
There has been an abnormal amount of fun lately.

Last night I was telling one of my manager about my new job, and my NEW manager from Bank of America walks up to me to get her ticket torn.

SPOOOKKKYYY.


As scary as it is to leave and head off into the great unknown, I know its gonna be so good for me and its the right choice. Its actually odd how sure I am that Im doing the right thing,and Im in the right place.



I am currently eating chocolate covered almonds.

I wish Id gotten dark chocolate.


Monday is auditions for MY FAVORITE YEAR 
I am way excited, because its a show about comedy sketches and New York. (My hearts contents.)
Shows shows shows, I love shows


ALSO
Nathan will be home in 10 days.



wahooo.




I think thats all the exciting things I have to tell you

EXCEPT THE BULL STORY.


So, every time the high school gang gets in town, we go to the bridge to nowhere and have a late night dance party. Its TRADITION.and ridiculously fun.


We all meet up, get out and get ready to dance.
I look over into the darkness and see a big shadow that is never there and say "hey look a bear" to freak everyone out.

Until I look closer and am like...wait...that is for real something.....
So I get in the truck and shine my head lights on it





THIS BEAST IS LOOKIN BACK AT ME.



Dang son.
As soon as my lights flash on it, EVERYONE is back in their cars and speeding off.

He was a really cool bull, I dont know why everyone was so alarmed.


And that , kids, is the BULL DANCE PARTY ON THE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE.

There's change comin once and for all. You're getting too old, too weak to keep holding on.

HAPPY 100TH POST.


I wanted to post it on the anniversary of my first post ever (august 28th or something) but that is too far in the future.


I havnt posted a blog in forever, right?
My last post was about boys.
MMMMmmm.


I think God controls me through acne.


Sometimes he is like "Britanee, you are getting too cocky and too many boys want to hold your body, so Im gonna bring back your cystic acne."

Prepare for a 3 month boy hiatus.


Im gonna miss you, fellas.


I delayed writing this post because I wanted it to be a big monument of how far Id come in the last year since my first post ever.
However, nothing monumentous had happened.
I was having this weird like.... quarter life crisis.
Because I am now signed up for classes specialized to my degree and its the real deal and im at a place where i need to decide what Im gonna do with my life (which isnt true. I have lots of time)


So i didnt write a blog.


Because I was all stressed out.

And i didnt want to have nothing to show for a whole year.

Remember my papsmear post?
Im such a goof.
I GOT ANOTHER ONE TODAY.


DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNN.

Piece of cake.
Im crackin jokes the whole time.
Laughin.



Thats what happens when you grow up.

Speaking of growing up.

I got a sweet job at Bank of America as a Mortgage servicing specialist.

ooott ooooot.


Its fancy.


Remember my new year resolutions?


2012 NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS.

• be respectful to my mother
• unconditionally love everyone i meet.
• include people, be friendly.
• forgive people (in particular)
• talk to God more often (in progress) 
• do more things that terrify me.
• stay in touch with high school friends
• be proud of the person I am at the end of the year.
• make necessary money 

How are you doing with yours?



Thats right.


Im so much better than you.



Add BE HELLA CREATIVE to that list.



I just want to create everything, music, paintings, sculptures,performances, pinterest shizzz, im about to just tear shiz up just to rebuild it.



I love late night "I CAN DO ANYTHING" jolts.



You know what Im so excited for?


To see this little squirt tomorrow (slash its today)










That is her on new years eve.


And they say college kids are bad....

Have you ever seen a kid and thought "I get why people kid nap kids"








Some days, you just have to accept you are a big deal.
That is my wisdom to you.
And also.
Stand up for what you believe in.


Yeah.
This is getting deep.




SECOND YEAR OF COLLEGE LETS GO.


GROWN UP JOB LETS GO



pause:
Also, add "learn how to turn guys down"


Guys are always like "whats your number?" "we should hang out"

And im like.....errrm....uhhhh.


AND I GIVE THEM MY NUMBER


CUZ I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.



Next time I turn a guy down, I will for sure let you know.

Although, now that my face is ripping apart, it may be a while before I reject a boy.



MY CONFIDENCE COMES FROM WITHIN.


SLASH  everyone should take what this article says to heart
http://www.metro.us/newyork/sports/article/1148979--what-if-every-olympic-sport-was-photographed-like-beach-volleyball


To my readers.

Be strong.

Do impressive things.



To quote the cutest girl in the world




"Bless"

You're Just Somebody That I Used to Know

You wanna know all you need for me to be instantly attracted to you and start to imagine our future relationship?

• tall figure
• suave hair
• stubble
• suspenders 
• own some form of square glasses (correctional lenses/sunglasses)
• an original sense of humor that I have to keep up with.

Its really that easy.

I mean, there are little things (respect, cohesive morals blah blahh blahhhh)....but for the most part...thats it.

Also a plaid shirt doesn't hurt.

I mean, Im givin away all my secrets here, but it doesn't matter.

Cuz this person does not exist in Mesa Arizona.

Yeah, they love you when they need you, but someday you're gonna hafta find some other kinda place to go

I got this wicked cold out of nowhere.


When Im sick, I really want this spicy ramen noodle soup.


I litteraly could barely walk I was so echausted and dizzy, but I saw no other way of obtaing this soup other than to go get it myself.


Despite my passionate hatred for Safeway, I decided to go there, considering it was closest to my house.

I drag myself there, wearing yoga pants, my high school theater hoodie and some slip on shoes, compleat with zit cream on my face (I had already gotten ready for bed, but my soup craving hit hard)

I walk into Safeway ignoring the looks im getting (i have a lot of zit cream on my face....)

I walk up to the Ramen Noodle section.


THEY DONT HAVE IT.


I was honestly fighting back tears.

I seriously considered falling on the ground and sobbing.


This is for many reasons.

• I am about to start my period
• I was so sick/tired
• I had a rough day
• I should have known better than to go to Safeway
• I guess I had a lot going on this soup.....

End of list.

I HATE SAFEWAY.

HONESTLY.

I CAN NOT ADEQUATELY DO MY HATRED JUSTICE THROUGH TEXT.

So I walk to my car,debate whether it is worth the drive, decide it is, and then I went to Walmart to get it.

And they had it, BECAUSE WALMART IS DEPENDABLE AND AWESOME.

All of my emotional breakdowns surface because of food.

I should get that checked out....

Summer stinks and winters waiting , welcome to New York

I AM IN LOVE WITH NEW YORK.





WEDNESDAY:
Land at JFK 
On the drive to Dahlyas I noted 2 things:

• The fashion there is fierce
• and the men are unbelievably attractive.

get to Dahlyas
get on my first subway(which I was very scared about)
I was telling everyone it was my first time, I made a friend.She was very nice.
Then Dahlya showed me some shops on her way to a class she attended, and i was then left to my own for 3 hour. I spent the time exploring, admiring the buildings shopping and reading.
Then I met back with Dahlya and we walked to this place called "The High Line" which is an elevated nature walk with a phenomenal view of both the city and the Hudson Bay.
We ate lunch at Chelsea Market (which is apparently super famous) and looked around at all the precious pastry and dessert shops.
Then we walked back to the apartment and watched some TV settled in
As we were chillin all thees sirens started going off and megaphones were blaring with muffled cop voices and I was like "whatda?"

We go down there and the street is closed because of the sunset?
Yeah.....
There are just loads of people watching the sunset in the street....

Then we walk to the subway and its closed for an investigation.
And there are all thees cops buzzinnnn


Initially, I had been worried about getting raped or mugged, however I never once felt even a tad scared.
I was thrown off by the amount of walking.
My shoes were unprepared....


THURSDAY:

We woke up.
Walked through Central Park (which was gorgeous)
then we went to time square

which was a lot to take in
BUT COOL.(4STORYFOREVER21)


then we trained to a place called SMAC which is only mac and cheese.

It was super good.
then we went to a super gorgeous part of town with cool buildings and walked around checkin out the felllasssssss

Then we went and watched some improv, it was funnnyyy
then we went to Lincon Center and bumped into  "Midsummer Night Swing" did some dancing
We walked past the MET and JULLIARD which I stared at for a long time.

Then on the subway home Dahl asked me if I saw a cute guy if I would ever just walk up to him and ask for his number, and I said I would. As soon as I said it I regretted it , knowing I would have to prove what I said. I told her as long as I got to pick the guy.
On the walk home Dahlya pointed out a guy (who was a studddd) and I shook my head "No" cuz I was so scared. He walked past me, heading across the street
Dahlya said "You missed your chance"
To which I replied by jumping off the curb and running across the street to catch him
I walked up to him and said "Excuse me, I was wondering if you could give me directions. Im looking for your number. So....which way would I go ......." I said gesturing different directions.
He laughed and very graciously said "Uhhh I actually already have someone...."
Thats all I remember before the blood was pounding so hard in my ears that I couldn't hear anymore
I shook my head and mumbled "No, yeah, of course," smiling and walking away
He pulled me back saying "Im flattered tho"

"Sure thing"

And then I ran back to Dahlya on my shaky knees and we giggled.
Then on the walk home there was this group of 5 Italian bro's and Dahlya joked "This whole group" and I immediately flashed em the smile and said "Hey fellas" and the whole group went "EYYYYYYYYYY BOBIDEE BOOPPIDEEEEE"



Finally we got cookies from Insomnia Cookies and went back home


FRIDAY:
Walked down the Hudson bay for about 4 miles until we got to downtown Manhattan
We then went to the 9/11 memorial building and the Twin tower memorial site.

9/11 is still very real in NY. People talk about it all the time. My shuttle driver told me how united it made the city, and how much safer. My friend on the subway agreed also.
Its crazy, I met a girl who's dad was across from the Twin towers when the plane hit, and her friends parents died in the attack. 


I mean its a big deal out here too, but not at all like it is there.
Its eye opening.


There is a super old cemetery across from the memorial site, like from the 1700's.
Dahl and I walked through it and the first headstone we read was that of a woman who died September 11th 1778

Creeeeeepy rightttttt?

Then we went to Brooklyn to see a show in the park that Dahlyas friend was stage managing, which ended up getting rained out.
I really like Brooklyn
An old black man called me sweetheart.
And the houses are cute, and its less fast paced.


SATURDAY:
We woke up butt early for how late we got home the night before.
I was determined to win the NEWSIES lottery.
So we trained on down to to Time Square and stood in line and did the whole shindig
we lost the lottery, but we were offered STANDING ROOM ONLY FOR 30$ which we took.

NEWSIES WAS SO PHENOMENAL I WAS SQUEELING I WAS SO HAPPY.
TOO MUCH GOODNESS.

Then we trained home and watched TV and rested and then went out to an improv show, which was also hilarious.


SUNDAY
slept in like crazy.
woke up.
bought some last minute stuff
got on a shuttle



I just barely made it on the flight because someone didnt show up, so I got their spot.
then we sat at the gate for 40 minutes waiting for a new pilot because the other one had an emergency
then, when we finally push away from the gate, we find out JFK had halted all westbound departures.
so we sat on the runway for 2 hours

lemme tell you....
Any kind of plane mishap while in New York was a little unsettling....


They were talking about sending us back to the gate and I was getting panicked because I had no idea how else I would get back home and where I would stay in the mean time and yada yada


Luckily tho, we got to take off.

I loved everything about NY.
I loved the tall buildings, I loved the hustle of the city, I loved the people, I loved taking the subway, I loved the food.

Also, being there with Dahlya was such an inspiration because I saw her working so hard to achieve her dream.She's not like one of those theater kids who is like "Im gona move to NY and get famous der der derrrrr"
Shes doing an internship and taking classes and learning all the time about what she wants to do.
Not to mention she has the courage to actually do it.Im terrified of doing half the things she does everyday.

Being surrounded by so much performing in NY made me rethink my goals and reassess what I really want.
It made me want to work harder as a performer and put myself out there a lot more.


I GET WHY SO MANY PEOPLE BLINDLY MOVE OUT THERE. THE PLACE SUCKS YOU IN.

All I ever wanted was the world

I always say late night blogs are the best blogs.



My flight to New York (Yes, I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker when I say that) leaves tomorrow at 9 pm
and lands at 2 am AZ time (5 NY time) and then I will hop off the plane and start my big town adventure.


Which would not be a big problem except the fact....I dont even go to sleep till at least 3AM my time....


(this blog is proof of that)

So since I cant be walking around the big city in a stupor, I have decided to stay up all night tonight, so I will be exhausted and sleep on the plane.


A plan that will work perfectly as long as i dont nap tomorrow (I am a notorious napper)


OR MEET A SEXYYYYY ARCHITECT ON MY FLIGHT.
#GAME24HOURSADAY







What do I plan to do with my time til then?

• clean my house for spending moneyyyyyy
• pack
• practice music for my voice lessonnnnn
• watch DHW
• maybe take a tiny cat nap....
• blow up friends FB's with old pictures
• debate my life
• fix the bathroom sink

The list seemed more impressive in my head.

I keep having dreams my dog is alive.


Right?



bummer.



PAUSE:
My Dog was diagnosed with Cancer, and we knew she didnt have much time, so we all joked we would take her to do everything she ever wanted to do.


The effect is had on me was that I thought to myself "What if I was diagnosed with Cancer and told I only have a month to live? Would I be scared to do X Y Z"

And I wasnt.



I should remember that more.

Live a little.



Side Note: I am a little scared to go to New York. Im scared to get mugged or raped or whatever else happens in New York. Luckily Dahlya taught me to "not look scared" so I should be fine.
My friend Jon said everyone there is good looking.
So....that sorta makes it all worth it.
And I heard there is this street where you buy really cheap stuff.
aka "my mother street"



So how am I occupying my time now?


i am laughing to myself at 3 am in the computer room.
Stalking facebooks.
debating cleaning.


Also, your welcome for the rain heading your way.


It only rains when I leave town.


Friggen dang it.



Dog.
This year will be like the big time (school wise)
Im taking the hard classes baby
look out

Shootin for straight A's round two....


you know what else will be cool?

Christmas.
I love Christmas


Mostly cuz how it smells and its cold.


Even tho I like my summer clothes better than my winter clothes.
Cuz all Arizonans own like one long sleeve shirt and a jacket.




Remember how I said I would stay up all night... Dont think its gonna happen.

What if I just sleep till 7?



Sounds good to me....

Everyday we wait is a day we loose

Prepare to be underwhelmed





As you may know my favorite colors are mint and coral.


I own coral pants...but i do not own mint pants.

A) I havnt found any for a reasonable price
B) they are never the right shade of mint



So its been a goal of mine to achieve the mint pants.


The other night while I was working, this girl came in with FEIRCE mint skinny jeans.


I probably scared her with the intensity I addressed her with "I LOVE YOUR MINT PANTS WHERE DID YOU GET THEM, I CANT FIND ANY THAT SHADE, I AM SO IN LOVE."
Not to mentions she had the stellar j crew necklace I've been trying to figure out how to get my hands on.


seen here....




(whateverI'llgetoverititsafadIdontreallyevenwantthenecklaceanyway)



So she answers to me "Dye them"


two words that changed my life.



DYE MY OWN PANTS.



GIRL.

YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR DIRTY MOUTH.


However being the thriftter I am, I started adding the cost of pants and dye and driving around to buy all of this.



Dye is also pretty intimidating to use....







But today, you know what i did.

I went and bought WHITE high wasted shorts from goodwill for $6 (which is pretty stinkin pricey)


And then I had planned on driving to Walmart to buy the dye, however I autopiloted home and figured Id buy dye some other time.

When I got home I remembered seing this post on pinterest


This girl dyed her own fabric with interior paint she had left over from painting her room....



Guys what color is my room.
I'll give you a refresher




So guess who had left over mint paint....




Someone in heaven really wanted me to get thees mint high waisted shorts.



So.....
I DYED MY OWN MINT SHORTS.







(they look cooler in person :D)




Looks like Ive met all of my summer goals....

The bliss between giving your all and giving up

July is the "eye opener" month.

Every July Im like "Shiz, I haven't done anything with my summer."

I mean, the year is half over, and what have we done with it?

DOG.
So tonight , once got off my second job (yeah I have a second job, im so cool {its sort of not real, but real])
I went to Michals and met one of her old friends and then we went to dinner together.


We wanted Italian, so we went to this little restaurant that had been recommended to us by her sister.
I agreed to go as long as it was reasonably priced (aka cheap)



We walk into this restaurant and the guy behind the counter goes
"...uhhhh can i help you" All startled/awkward


"yeah we called about getting our car detailed....WE WANT TO EAT, DUH"

Real response "We'd like to be seated to dinner......"


Good save Michal.

So we sit down and I open the menu and see it starts at 12 dollars and just goes up

The guy orders our drinks (which were all waters....) and when he walks away I say...."Guys..this is Olive Garden prices, if Im gonna drop this dough, its gonna be at Olive Garden"

We look back and he is just starting to fill our drinks.....
I suggest going up and telling him we are leaving
But Michal just books it out the door.


And me and her friend follow suit.


We felt like we had dined and dashed
(even tho we had no bill)


Then we get to Olive Garden and eat really tasty food and sing to our neighbors and enjoy life.


And then we decide to go to Oregano's for PAZOOKIE


Here is the thing about Oregano's....It is not good enough for how expensively it is priced....
and its slow....and gross.

Im sort of alone in that opinion.
Ive excepted it.
BUT NOT THEIR PAZOOKIE -IT IS GOOD

Pause: I make really good PAZOOKIE and get a lot of male attention for being able to do so (uhm....pazookie is not hard,....wait...maybe they arnt impressed....just wanting to get me back to their houses....IVE BEEN HOODWINKED!)

So we get to Oregano's
And meet our hottie server Jimmy.
So we;re all flirtin it up with this Chris Hemsworth lookin feller.


The bar was decorated with old wine bottles, and every time he left the room , we would grab one and set it on our table.
We ended up with like 15 of thees bottles.


It was entertaining for us.
We were acting like thees wine bottles were the most expensive off limits bottles ever in a restaurant.

Jimmy was super smooth and brought us extra chocolate chips and all that.
Workin for that tip.

But i wasn't planning on paying him in money, ya know.

That was inappropriate.


So we are sitting chatting and some guy slowly walks up to our table and kneels down and says "I ....got a question....for you...."


Uhm.....alright





"my buddy is going away to Florida and..."

There it is, ok I can smell the alcohol now....


"and ...we were wondering if you'd do shots with us......ya know....for him going away...."


Yeah totally - said the other two and not me because i dont drink.


And he just kept repeating himself and the plan and making it sound like this secret we could get killed for knowing........


And we kept explaining we understood.
And he ask Michals friend her name and shook her hand and then walked away.



Me and Michal look at each other....


They always go for the blondes.

Which is fine cuz i did not want to have to deal with turning this weird ass guy down.


And then he was gone for a long time and we were eating our cookies and enjoying ourselves when the waitress walks out with shots
Simultaneously our waiter walks up asking us how everything is and Mr. Drunk just walks up and grabs him and pulls him away........


and after like 3 minutes our waiter walks back and says "He just bought you all a round of shots"

It was the weirdest most awkward experience, and then we just stood there cheering and watching thees strangers drink....and then small talked for like half a second....and his friends were confused as to why we were there and I explained we had been paid to be there (ha, no.) and then the drunk punk was like "Pull up a chair" after awkwardly high fiv-ing Camille (Michals friend who i should have named forever ago....)
and we were like....nahhhhh
and then just walked away and talked about how freaking weird that was and kept stealing little bottles and giggling.


So Jimmy comes back with out check and all that, and the three of us write our numbers on the receipt.





Awwww yeiiii.

Now we are all waiting to see who he chooses

My guess is he already has a book worm girlfriend who he plans to propose to.


List of things i brought back from cali:

• bomb tan
•  aggressive driving

I am terrified of loosing this tan, there is something about California sun that makes your skin glow.

Michal says it goes away......

I drive like I am from California now.

Cuttin people off, speedin....

Bein awesome......

And im gonna make a beach mobile.

Yes.

BIG THINGS HAPPENING.

Oh....and this time next week...I will be on a plane to New York.

Infinite happiness slash excitement.