Darn you atkins diet habits that i cant break.
Did you guys see how many status' I posted?
Holy geez!
I have a lot to say, ok.
apparently.
I just made pumkin cookies.
They are delicious.
They are from a little bag.
Not scratch.
One time I was at my good friend Dahlya's house.
And she wanted to make a giant cookie.
So we baught a ton of cookie mix(the bagged kind)
And she invited some mormon girls (which is inevitable in mesa.You have a 1.7/2 chance of inviting a mormon anywhere.)
And they were like mystified by the bag.
"I didnt know they made cookie mix in a bag?"
They were circeling it like it was an alien life form
And all the girls started muttering "I didnt even know- we just make ours from scratch-true religion"
And me and my good friend Jen had to walk away and laugh really hard.
Lemmme give you a feel for jen.
At my 14th birthday party I had an ice cream cake.
And i was cutting it and it was an inch away from falling off my table.
And jen and I simultaneously scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
And thats how we knew we were gonna be best friends.
You should ask jen about the first time we met.
: )
Jen I hope you're reading this.
Wanan hear another Funny jen story ?
(i love jen. I would totally hook up with her on a lesbo binge)(in fact I have)
PAUSE.
Something I have been disgussing with my lover (josh) is how I say things very seriously, so people think im joking, but im not.
So ive gotten to a point where you can never tell if im serious or not.
It gets me out of a lot of trouble.
"Were you just smoking pot in your car?"
*sarcastically over the top. "YEAH I WAS!"
SO the person really thinks your just being sassy and you havent.
But really you have.
This is not a example from my own life.
Smoking pot is lame.
Go out and make real friends.
I wonder how many readers I just lost.
Anyway
UNPAUSE
Guys this is a really intense story.
Its not for you squeemish kids.
So i was really sick one time.
Like had a cold/cough kinda thing
And I had some friends come over to cheer me up
And Jen and I started joking around like playing like fooling like hoarse playing around
And she made me laugh really hard and i coughed up flem.
I wasnt embarresed because its jen. And im quirky.
And jen.
Being my perfect weird soul mate
Squinches her eyes and pretends like shes gonna lick it out of my mouth.
And you know What i do?
I laugh so hard it spits into her face.
Thats a friend for life right there.
Ok back on track.
What was the point of this ?
LOOK AT THIS CUTE THING I WANNA MAKE!!!
IM GOING TO MAKE IT AND THEN ENTERTAIN FANCY DINNER PARTIES.
I love pinterest more than anything.
If i had to pick one thing id take on a deserted Island, itd be pinterest.
And then id get a computer too.
So take that person who's making me choose!
You know what i like about replying "soon"?
That could mean tomorrow.
That could mean in the next 2 days.
That could mean in the next 5 minutes.
Things britanee can not do while blogging.
- bake cookies.
Guess who just burnt her cookies.
Im the worst mormon.
I used to be good.
And now look at me.
Making them from bag mix is probably where I went wrong in the first place.
Today Josh was like
"Im leaving soon, make sure all the naked men in your room leave."
and i said
"Nah, its a long drive.I still have time"
and he said
"okay, but please finsih before I get there, ok?"
I stinkin love that boy.
I get a lot of crap for being too gushy about josh.
But i make a constant effort not to be one of those annoying girls
"Out with Joe tonight. Best boyfriend ever. I love him. SO in love. We might have sex. Love him. "
^^^^that was a status update.
This is a blog.
I can occasionally gush about him.
And thats why all you sick saps are reading this anyway.
Anyway.
HES THE BEST.
MMMMMM TAKE THAT SUCKER.
What else do I have to talk about.....
I like when people go "Im being creepy and reading your blog"
Like its some journal and you have to have a vile of my blood to open it.
This is public domain.
Im writing this for you - I already know what happened.
I get paid 15$ an hour to clean my kitchen
I only tell you that cuz its relevant to the story im going into.
People think thats an outrageous amount.
And im like...."Have you seen my kitchen?"
My favorite thing ever is when my mom makes me clean.
And then she comes in and makes something while im trying to clean, and messes it up
Or when she makes me stop what im doing so she can wash her apple.
Or when she tells me to clean it a different way.
Or when im making cookies for everyone and she tells me how much better they would have been if i made icing or added nuts.
You are more than welcome to do that when you make them next, mom.
Things to do on my blog
mother rantmake jokes that will get me in troublemake people vomit by talking about my boyfriend.
I am getting so much done today.
Ive been so whiny this week.
Its nuts.
And irritable.
Sorta.
But the secret kind where you wont admit to it.
So people are like...whats wrong?
And your like "Nothing" but its making your areolar tissue itch your so annoyed.
I like it!
Guess what I cant stinkin wait for?
TO SEE ALL MY HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS.
My idaho family is like "why you not here 4 da THXGVIN ?" (somedays i pretend im kate roberts)
And i like (CUZ IM GONNA SEE ALL MY FRIENDS!)
I like skyping with Dahlya.
Jen.
I like them.
I feel like this has gone on long enough.
Like when my blogs have a purpose, I dont care how long they turn out.
But this one....this one.......its just..... ppppppppppppppppppplplplplplplplpl.
(thats the noise you make when you tounge goes between your teeth and your botom lip goes pppppplplplplplpl)
What do you mean"no its not" ?
Try and spell it out.
Yeah.
Who was right.
You should be embarrassed that you literally just made that noise.
OK bye.
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