I dont know whats right,and whats real , anymore.

blerrrgh.



I had decided to be "internet silent" for a while. (so i dont get the internet equvilent of 'break-up bangs.')
but i guess i've never been very good at being scilent.

One time my dad payed me to be quiet for 45 minutes.

Chicks, they'll do anything for money.



"One time I walked in on my grandparents being sexual and I didn't leave right away."






Lets talk RENT closing.

Actually, lets talk about RENT understudy night.


LOVED IT!
I was still recovering from a cold,so my voice was not 100%,which led to me being a little disappointed in my favorite song of the show.
But other than that, it was a lot of fun.
Being an understudy is freaking NUTSSSSSS.
Seriously.
Its like being a kamakazi pilot.
sheesh.


But take what you can get in this biz, i guess.


Rent as a whole was a phenomenal fun crazy drama filled experience.
But i came out of it with lots of new friends and new abilities and new confidence.



Consequently my classes are suffering from me making Rent my number 1 priority.
So that is stressing me out.


Which is actually making me really sick.
Like physically.
And psychologically.
Sometimes all of your problems are dumped on you at one time.
So thats cool.

Its weird settling into my old life....
Like work....and school.... and thats all.

Cuz Im used to there being so much more.
So my little body is like......."Why are we at home right now doing nothing ?"
And Im like... "thats all there is to do , little guy." and then we listen to depressing music and look out the window.



Life is hard--right now....
And usually i say "and im not even to the hard part yet."

But i have a new philosophy that life will always be the same level of hard.

Because every time you hit something hard, it will be just as hard as the last time you hit something hard.
The former just seems easy in comparison because you've already hit it, and conquered it.


Its weird how much im learning and growing up.

I get it.

I used see things and be like..."Why are they so upset? Why are they so lame? Why cant they just be stronger? Why cant they just get over it?"
But now i get it.



I know that God has a sense of humor.

Cuz stuff will happen, where I just have to look up and be like...."Really?.....Alright, that's pretty funny.Like, i dont really think its funny right now....but if it was anyone else id probably be smirking. So...alright big guy."

Or some people would just say Im being punished for my sins!

but i like to think of it as a little inside joke between me and The  Higher Power.




GUYS THIS BLOG POST IS WEIRD.


there is a lot happening in my tiny little life.
But, most of them are things people wouldn't understand or things i literally just dont even want to begin to talk about or things that would upset people.



so you guys get my weird rambling round about blog post.