Always rainin men, girl, whatchu worried bout?

Edit : This blog gets crazy. Stick with it. It gets less crazy. (maybe) 

I have so much to sayyyy

Today is the first time since last Monday that I have had time to blog 

(wow Britanee we are all shocked that you are finally starting to be integrated into real life)

I cut myself off from facebook. Because I am an addict. And I need to actually start working on school stuff instead of scrolling down a repetitive news feed waiting for people to IM me.

Taylor has my password, and whenever I really want on, I ask him to log me in.

I had a lot of really important things to say, about drug wars, and my current mental state as it relates to my career aspirations.

But today what has got me really worked up, is unrequited love.

It seems to be the season for unrequited love.

Every where I look there is someone who has really strong feelings for someone who has little to none in return. 

Now that I have been on both sides of this, I consider myself some what of an expert. 

(Thank You) *bows*

I just recently faced a situation (again) that really gets my blood boiling.

Let me preface this with saying- I know I am flirtatious. I know the vibes I give out. I can see where the miscommunication may stem from.

But what I can NOT stand is when I tell a boy "I don't want a relationship with you"

And then learn he thinks waiting around is the trick.

If he just waits I will "come to my senses" and FINALLY start to realize my feelings for him.

And you know what? It makes me furious.

I take responsibility for leading him on. For the mixed signals.

But there are times I can NOT be any clearer on my intentions.

And then to hear they are being disregarded.

This is what I hear:

"She is just an indecisive, emotional girl. She doesn't know what she wants. I will show her what she wants. Her current opinion is the wrong one. Ill just wait here till she develops the right one. She cant do or say what she wants. She Isnt allowed."

Don't get me wrong, I recognize the holes in this thinking.I cant see its irrationality. 

BUT SERIOUSLY. 

When I tell you "This is permanent. I do not want to be in a relationship with you"

THAT ISN'T PLAYING HARD TO GET. 

So why do I bring this up.

I was listening to a close friend talk about a similar situation. He says "I think its time for 'the talk'"

PAUSE.

I don't think I have clapped so hard in my life.

"BOY, WHAT TALK? SHE ALREADY TOLD YOU. SHE DON'T WANT NOTHING WITH YOU! NOTHING HAS CHANGED. SO QUIT ASKING HER IF IT HAS. OHHH LORD. "

at this point I am full on walking in circles as my eyes roll so hard  its effecting the momentum of my head. 

"A GIRL SAYS WHAT SHE WANTS AND NOBODY LISTENS. ALL YOU JUST SIT AROUND AND WAIT. FOR WHAT. AIN'T NOTHING CHANGING."

Boys tell me "Girls cant be nice to boys. They read into it."

Well girls are just screwed then.

Its a girls fault she smiled at you. 

Its a girls fault she treated you cordially.

Its a girls fault she invites you to spend time with her.

Girls. Stop smiling. Stop being polite. And stop having a social life that involves anything other than girls.

Maybe you should just stay quiet and paint your nails. 

Don't wanna give boys any ideas.

Its like girls arent allowed to have free agency. 

I know it isn't black and white. There are girls who SERIOUSLY lead guys on and then cut them off. Or really play with boys emotions. 

Like, say, cuddle with them.

I also know it isn't always girls doing the leading on.

Britanee, what are you even trying to get at.

If the person you have feelings for has told you they don't feel the same way, or they don't want to pursue any feelings. Hear them. As much as you disagree with them, or as much as you think if they just gave you a chance you could be great together.

I know it sucks.

Im sick of girls getting blamed for being  "players" because some boy chose not to hear them when they said "I have no intention of dating you"

Im also sick of good boys getting played because some girl couldnt answer a question straight out for fear of hurting some guy.

I also recognize mixed signals are a real thing. 

If someone is doing something that confuses you. Clarify. With that person. Not your group of friends who don't know the situation either.

I cant stand when girls sit around asking "What does this text mean? Do you think he likes me?"

GO ASK HIM.

And if you don't have a line of communication that allows for that, then maybe you shouldn't be pursuing a relationship with him or her.

Trust me, I need to take my own advice. 

Everyone is playing this game because they are so worried about losing something they never even had. 

And at the end of the day, who wants to convince someone else to be with them?