You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive

Whats the last thing I talked about?


I dunno.

We will just start with exciting stuff.
there is bean dip on the r and the t of my key board.
its terribly attractive.....what? that is in no way what i was trying to type.
the word i was going for is "distracting"
So.I rest my case.


but anywayssss



I started school.


My first class is Broadway Solos.


Its exactly what it sounds like - singing Broadway songs.

Its pretty cool

Its cool because its not like "you must now sing like a beautiful bird and everyone will analyze you."

Its like "uh, why dont you sing and we will cheer you on even if it sucks"


So. Thats cool.


People really don't care if your good, just if you have fun.

So i try and remember that when im about to sing in front of the class, trying not to throw up and thinking"isuckisuckisuckisuckisuckwhyamiherewhatamidoingisuckisuckisuck"



Next I have Healthy Living

I can already tell im going to like that class.
Its right up my alley.
All about nutrition and exercise and healthy relationships.
Its way cool and the teacher makes it a lot of fun.


Then i wait for an hour in the music building munching on any scraps of food i have in my backpack.

And then I go to my English 102 class with the coolest weirdest craziest teacher ever.
She talks about how marijuana should be legalized and calls herself the B-word when no one is listening and tells us to look away when she has to stop lecture to pull up her pants because they are falling off.

and then i get out of that class and HAULLLLL MY TOOOOOOSHHHH to Rent rehearsals.
Every time I walk in people go "OHHH YOU MISSED IT" Like fricken Obama was cracking jokes right before I walked in.
 (my English class ends at 2:50 and RENT starts at 2:30)


And then we rehearse

And i fight all the discouraging thoughts I have about my ability to perform.

and then i get all frustrated that i cant read music and i dont know how to sing alto, but i cant sing soprano any more because im a grown women.


And then we all grind up on each other.


And then me and Josh go home and eat.






So.
That pretty much sums up every Monday Wednesday and Friday.


I bought Boys deodorant because its way cheaper and you get way more and i thought it would work better.

No.

It doesn't.

I smell like fricken garbage ALLL THE TIME.


So then I go to RENT rehearsal.

And i smell like fricken onion rings and teenage boys
and then i find out we are rehearsing CONTACT

Which is....Which is......its.....a big scene of people who are in love. And do what people in love....do.


My partner was very strong.
And imaginative.


So there's that.





Its fun tho.


My week gets very busy but I like it.



Most of the time I am either fighting off emotional breakdowns, or too busy to have them
I feel like its normal tho.


tho is a word ?


My computer isnt reprimanding me...


Well whatta ya know.


So.
Life is pretty good.

Im just growwwin up a lot.

So.

yeah.