I dont know whats right,and whats real , anymore.

blerrrgh.



I had decided to be "internet silent" for a while. (so i dont get the internet equvilent of 'break-up bangs.')
but i guess i've never been very good at being scilent.

One time my dad payed me to be quiet for 45 minutes.

Chicks, they'll do anything for money.



"One time I walked in on my grandparents being sexual and I didn't leave right away."






Lets talk RENT closing.

Actually, lets talk about RENT understudy night.


LOVED IT!
I was still recovering from a cold,so my voice was not 100%,which led to me being a little disappointed in my favorite song of the show.
But other than that, it was a lot of fun.
Being an understudy is freaking NUTSSSSSS.
Seriously.
Its like being a kamakazi pilot.
sheesh.


But take what you can get in this biz, i guess.


Rent as a whole was a phenomenal fun crazy drama filled experience.
But i came out of it with lots of new friends and new abilities and new confidence.



Consequently my classes are suffering from me making Rent my number 1 priority.
So that is stressing me out.


Which is actually making me really sick.
Like physically.
And psychologically.
Sometimes all of your problems are dumped on you at one time.
So thats cool.

Its weird settling into my old life....
Like work....and school.... and thats all.

Cuz Im used to there being so much more.
So my little body is like......."Why are we at home right now doing nothing ?"
And Im like... "thats all there is to do , little guy." and then we listen to depressing music and look out the window.



Life is hard--right now....
And usually i say "and im not even to the hard part yet."

But i have a new philosophy that life will always be the same level of hard.

Because every time you hit something hard, it will be just as hard as the last time you hit something hard.
The former just seems easy in comparison because you've already hit it, and conquered it.


Its weird how much im learning and growing up.

I get it.

I used see things and be like..."Why are they so upset? Why are they so lame? Why cant they just be stronger? Why cant they just get over it?"
But now i get it.



I know that God has a sense of humor.

Cuz stuff will happen, where I just have to look up and be like...."Really?.....Alright, that's pretty funny.Like, i dont really think its funny right now....but if it was anyone else id probably be smirking. So...alright big guy."

Or some people would just say Im being punished for my sins!

but i like to think of it as a little inside joke between me and The  Higher Power.




GUYS THIS BLOG POST IS WEIRD.


there is a lot happening in my tiny little life.
But, most of them are things people wouldn't understand or things i literally just dont even want to begin to talk about or things that would upset people.



so you guys get my weird rambling round about blog post.

Its getting better all the ti-ah-ime.

My life has been pretty crazy lately.


Lets start from the ground up.


We all know about my surgery in 6th grade that put me in a wheel chair yadda yadda.
Well, turns out due to that , I have a deformed femur .
So thats why my leg pops out uncomfortably ALL THE TIME.

I will be getting a CT scan to ensure that is the problem an then going in for another surgery to "sculpt" the bone back to normal.


loveeee it...



NEXT!


RENT

Its a lot of fun.

I made a best friend.
Her name is Michal and she completes me.

I have also made lots of other friends.

They are fun.


understudy night is 3 nights away.

GUESS WHO IS SUPER SICK!?!?!

This girl.

I have a sinus infection and a sore throat (which im a little convinced is strep due to the white patches on my throat.) THANKS A LOT ARIANA MAI LUCIUS.YEAH IM TALKIN TO YOU and All them sick little jiggas in the cast,i know who you are.

This must be Gods punishment for me doing a play about homosexuals.




I am on meds and herbs and knees and everything possible to try and get better.



So. As you can see, Ive been missing a lot of school
For appointments and performance obligations.

Which shouldnt be a problem.
Except the fact my teacher doesnt accept ANY excuses....except like....death.


So that is stressing me out.


Ultimately, Im terrified I wont be able to sing and I will disappoint all my friends in the audience.



But you didnt hear that from me.

Dive into work, Drive the other way

I have to be at school at 10 am filming for RENT tomorrow.
(I feel really cool saying that)
For those of you who dont know, a reel is projected of the cast at the end of the show.

So.
That is what we are filming.


I realized it opens in less than 2 weeks.

uhm


Guess who needs to memorize her shish.


Jeepers.


This show has been really crazy for me.
Because i have to learn ensemble part....and MIMI's part

In all honesty, i have devoted all of my efforts to mimi, because i figured it doesnt matter if i scwander in a huge group.


You know in high school when year books were released, and you think to yourself "Its the end of the year?...i just learned the names of half of my class mates"

Its come so fast i dont even have time to be sad its almost over...or relieved

The process has been much different then forum.

Its been much harder and much more dramatic.

But now we are getting into the fun stuff so Im really enjoying it.


I had to request off like 2-3 weeks of work for the show because the way RENT and school worked out, there literally is no time when i am available to work.
Im not too worried tho, because when i do find time, i can try and pick up shifts.


Sometimes i get really over whelmed about my life and then i remember its really easy and i can be anything i want to be.






Me and Nate have been watching horders.

It leggit made me clean my entire house and donate 2 baskets of my clothes.


Also, i dont eat while I watch that show.


So its good all around.




THINGS ARE GOIN WELL.


LOVE YOU

Thatswhyyoumad.

The morning star maple sausage patties are THE FRICKEN BOMB.


You know how hard it is to eat healthy when you are in school AND a show.

I spend all of my time at MCC.

Leggit.

Monday, I will be there for 12 hours.


eye yi yooo


I have had some complaints about my lack of blogging.

Lemme tell you the highlights of my life lately.


The other day josh and i went to pei-wei .
I dont drink soda (try very hard not to-at least) and so i ordered a water, Josh however got a fountain drink.

For those of you who dont know....
Pei-Wei has THE ALL TIME COOLEST soda machine.


Its just one little stand, with one little nozel- but a thousand options.

They have  strawbery,cherry,vanilla,orange,grape,mago , flavors of leggit everryyyyyyy drinkkkkkkk.
Dr pepper, fanta,powerade,mello yellow,rootbeer,coke, sprite, lemonade
DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED.


I CAN NOT HANDLE IT.


My favorite out of the machine is RASPBERRY fanta.
Why?

Because it tastes like an Italina Cream Soda.



So i make Josh get that one, by persuading him its the best (I have been to the machine before....so,i am a pro)

So he gets it and we go and sit down and I take a drink.
And its like a crack addict in a sketchy worn down drug house.


I feel at home.


I can not stop drinking his drink.


Now, the water cups and the soda cups look the exact same, and its not like they have someone hovering over the drinks to make sure you are honerable in your drink choice.


But i can  not bring myself to put soda in my water cup.

I do however drink all the soda I can fit in my body out of Josh's cup.


I considered just going and paying for a soda, so i could have my own cup.

But.


I didnt.


It was silly.


But....sometimes.....I consider driving to Dana Park just to drink that soda.



mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.




So that is honestly the most exciting thing that has happened recently.


Wanna see what I made Josh for Valentines day ?


I will show you.

I copied the idea from Rachel Red. <3



V-Day was pretty sweet.
Me Josh Taylor and Nathan made dinner and ate it and then watch cyber bully.
Because i could not find The Notebook.
However.
We will DEFINITELY be watching it in the near future.


Cyber bully is way lame.
Because the girl is just super dumb the whole time .
But i guess some people in real life are that dumb and need to see it too.



Hmmm what else.


RENT is chuggin along.


Im at the point where Im getting really ..... sick of it, just cuz we are getting yelled at all the time.


I LOVE BEING IN SHOWS.
AND YOU SHOULD COME SEE ME IN A SHOW.


Here is a link if you wanna buy tickets to MY night, MARCH 8TH.
https://www.ezticketlive.com/checkout/event_view.asp?id=37



There is cussing and aids and homosexuality and scantily clad women and simulated sex scenes and a butt.


So.


: )



I am cleaning my room, because my gramma will be here on monday.


So that should be a good time.

She really likes to play just dance.

Im sure she will be ecstatic that we have all 3.


Well , im going to go clean now.


Bye friend!

I dont wanna show off no more.

It I am currently laying in bed writing this

Menstrution is hard.

Along with spelling.

I feel like men will never understand.

Which would never bother me EXCEPT when I'm on my period.

Like,"What? You can read my mind? You are worthless !"

  

It didn't used to be so hard. As you grow,so does your uterus and its hatred for the body that encompasses it. (I SPELLED THAT WORD ON MY OWN)

Girls have such an awful reputation for being so crazy.

It's honestly no fault of our own.

And I'm sure we could explain it.

But we wont. Cuz it would just make us seem more crazy.




And then there is this whole " period taboo"

Like Jeepers get over it.

This is the continuation of life here , people!

There is a reason God gave girls all the awful hard stuff, cuz they were the ones who could handle it.

What do women have to do?

•  Cook ,clean, be near death for 7 days each month, birth a bowling ball out of a hole the size of a nostril, and listen to men's easy ass problems,and offer solutions.
• (along with everything else a man does:school,work,interpersonal relations)

What do men have to do?

• make money and pretend to listen to women.

Reasons Britanee wants to be a guy:

• No make up/hair style in the morning( but let's be honest,I don't)

• No drama (girls,just shut up and stop acting amazed that you arnt the only one who talk crap)

PAUSE:

Girls talk SO MUCH TRASH and then act like someone just killed their entire family when they learn someone else is talking about them.

You reap what you sow.

Of course your friends are gonna talk crap about you. Is the sky blue,are you really stupid and easy ? The answer to all of this is yes.

UNPAUSE

• No period

• No child birth

• No psycho mood swings ( even tho...I have known some guys who.......come on)

• And it would be so easy to get a mate.

Girls are the easiest thing in the world to court.

Just listen and make them feel safe.

Cuz most girls are so messed up by the jillions of potential humans floating through their blood That they can't make a healthy decission.



but trying to get a man?

sheesh.


dont even get me started.


( i am madly in love with my boyfriend. side note.)
I'm so sleepy.

And not looking forward to 30 more years of this.

On the bright side periods are effective in making me relize I never want one of theese monsterous oocytes to grow into a full grown fetus.
Cuz if a microscopic pinhead cuases this much distruption....

And then boys are like " its all in your head , it doesn't hurt that bad"

You know what's gonna be all in your head in one second?
 Nothing.
 It will be on the side walk.




What is the point to this?

Girls are really awesome so be nice to them.

And men, stop thinking you are the coolest thing in the world. It makes sence your reproductive organs are outside of your body because otherwise your ego would have nowhere to fit.



I don't think that came out right.



and boys and girls have the same amount of ribs!

Can someone please explain this to me,is that like a biblical misconception?

That is the first question I am asking the missionaries tomorrow (they give us the lessons #findjesus)

And then I will explain this rant as the origin of my question and then I will tear apart the proclamation to the family, which,side note, thank you to the 450 charecter panphlet that sucessfully derailed  the hard earned women's equality progress of the last 700 years.

I had no idea women were expected to stay home with the kids after they birthed them while the husband went to work.

Thank you for that ground breaking idea, Mormon church.

I feel like this is off track .


And slightly offensive. But I don't mean it to be.

It's really late at night.

....morning.


And i have work tomorrow because i am trying to win employee of the month.


...but that is for another blog.



for now.


sleep.



and midol and chocolate, apparently.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

And we'll get lost together.

Ready for this ?
So for the last couple weeks I have been really psycho.

Its really annoying.

Im always really irritable and depressed and get really lonely, but then when i do see people, i just get irritable and don't want to be around people anymore.


ITS WEIRD I AM NOT A FAN.


Oh well.


Growing up is rough.

For a while, RENT was adding to it, because I felt really inferior and green (Thank you SMASH for that reference) and like everyone hated my guts.

But then my pal Reggie helped me with some songs and now I have some confidence and I am enjoying rehearsals.


So that's cool

Im doing well in school.

But its pretty boring.


But that could just be because I have a bad attitude lately.



LAME.


Also.

Pinterest wont load.


Which makes me want to drown little things.





SO BASICALLY MY LIFE IS REALLY HARD,OBVIOUSLY.



haha.

Wont this be nice to look back when im older and see how trivial my sad little problems were.



Somedays I just want to go to some academy angry dads send their sons to to fix them, so i can fix myself.


And get a really hot trophy wife.


And ruin all of my dads gay rights conversations.

wecantbackdownwecantbackdownnotrightnow

Things that annoy me:

• When my salsa con queso goes missong

• camp rock

• printers ALLLWAYYYYYSSS (i could cuss all night long about those little fricks)

• pages not loading

• stress

• feeling inadequate

• whining

• pictures of drunk girls (they just look so GD ugly. )

• short lists.