Never met the guy but i treat him like i missed him

WHAT A WEEKEND.
I feel like a whole new woman.


*off topic and possibly disgusting -
I once posted on FB " I woke up a girl and went to bed a Woman" 
I think a lot of people thought Id lost my virginity.
Nahhh. I just got a surprise mammogram and papsmear.
It was done by a professional. 
That wasnt like a slang term or anything....




Too much?




I dont care who you are the story of my first papsmear is hilarious.
Dont act like your too good for an entertaining papsmear story.


THIS ISNT EVEN WHAT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT! 


Lemme also say while im off subject.
YOU FRIENDS IN COLLEGE NEED TO UPDATE YOUR BLOG MORE SO I KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING AND WE WILL ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT AT CHRISTMAS.
:)
Misssssss youuuuuuu.






So
Remember plan makecuteboymyboyfriend ?
It is going swimmingly.
Im happy to report we have a date this Thursday.
Shhhhh, dont make a big deal out of it. I dont want him to know im gushing about it on my blogspot like some pretween girl!


So that is respectable.




Hmmm what else.


Probably the highlight of my weekend, was my adventure night with Sadee !
I had heard that Krispee Kream throws away all of their leftover donoughts. And a friend suggested using them for a prank.
So Sadee and i drove out to Superstition Springs and snuck up behind the bulding to the dumpster.
Mission : Doughdumpster
The plan was sadee would drive the get away mobile and i would get the booty. However, they had just emptied the dumpster and there was a measly 2 bags, about 4 feet from the brim of the dumpster.
I tried reaching.
I tried hopping.
I tried running around saying " I cant do this."
Untill finally i jumped up and balanced on my illiac crest ( ishhh just got real) * the iliac crest is the spot under your belly button, like where your pooch ends. Pooch means gut. ....nothing sexual
anyway.
I balanced on that, while my bare arms grazed the lid of the dumpster ( vommmitttt) and i reachhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheddddd for the bag. SUCCESS.
Untill. The bag was too heavy. And i am a strong girl.
I heaved. 
And i ho-ed.
And i could not get it out.
Although i did get some nasty icing shizz ALL OVER ME
and so i ran back to the get away car and said "eff this"
And sadee said "nay"
and that beast sadee, she went and she got that bag. And together we carried it to my car, iccing oozing on us and all.
Even tho, now we have them and nothing to do with them....so...




Dude.
My friend emailed me from university and her life is so exciting
You should read her blog instead.
Shes got it goin on.


Im like " I fed my dog and then car-pooled to community college."


BUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE A DATE THIS THURSDAY SO SUCK IT EXPENSIVE UNIVERSITY'S !


Story time! 
( You know how many boys i have to block from this blog ? Geeze. i am just giving away all my secrets. And Ill be like Taylor swift and her stupid songs, no one will want to date me cuz ill write a blog post about it!)


So, Once upon a time a boy asked me if i wanted to hang out. and i said yes. he was cute. and we were friends. Later on he off handedly called it a "date night" and i thought HOLLLLLLMOTHERITSADATE
And so we went to El Pollo Loco together (ClaSsy) and i said something about how boys dont like when girls dont eat on dates.
And then later on in the night, he goes "Britanee, I like you alot, this just isnt a date.)
AWWWWWWKWARD.
Even though eventually we decided it was a date and he was my first kiss.(technically it was not my first kiss.But its my first kiss that meant something. and wasnt with a homosexual. GAY RIGHTS!)
Which is an EVEN BETTER STORY.(the kiss with the el polo loco boy, not the gay kiss. OK both are good stories.)
First kisses are awwwkward.
Side note: I ALWAYS say weird awkward things after my first kiss with someone.


But back to the point. SO, he said it wasnt a date.
So now, i am very reluctant to ever acknowledge something as a date, even if it is very clearly a date. 


Why did i even get started on this.......




Anyways, so theres that. Im not sure where i was going with it.
Someday i will have to tell you that story in detail. 




The point of all of this is...Im not psycho.


This blog is getting better and better.


I mean, how could it not, when i opened up with a mammogram reference.
The other day, someone who i am not friends with on facebook, or expect to take any interest in my life referenced my blog.
It was flatteringly creepy.




So....tell your friends.


I really wish i made a video blog
a VLOG as they are called. This would be so much better with my face....




School has returned to its normal level of borringness.
And i work a lot.






But i am really enjoying rehearsals. 
EXCEPT MY KNEE IS SO BRUISED. I AM TEMPTED TO POST PICS. 
But, remember the kid who replaced my lover. He is only getting more annoying. 
BUT I CAN HANDLE IT.




Check this.
I have rehearsal from 2-6 and then work from 6-11 on Mondays, Wednesdays,and Fridays
*transportation time was included in those figures*
Tuesdays and Thursdays I am at school all day
And Saturday i am either working, or having all day rehearsals.
And Sundays are spent sleeping and feeling guilty about my lack of religion.


So that is my life right now.
Crazy.
Basically, i spend everyday at MCC.
But im not complaining. Im happy to be so busy.




HERES WHAT I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT.
The lack of new music.


I listen to like the same 3 songs everyday.
Its annoying.
I dont have the radio in my car, so i never hear new songs.
Right now, all i listen to is
Easy -Rascal Flatts
Remind me - Brad Paisley
Kiss it better-He is We ( Dang you sadee!!!!!)
6 foot 7 foot clean-Lil Wayne


I kinda ran Super Bass into the ground.




Oh,taylor (my brother) is in Lamb of God on Friday at Gammage,its a big deal, and im very excited and proud ! 
Good for him !




Lets see....
oh, let the record show
I am a beast at crockpot dinners.


I think im gonna bring that up on my date.




Anyway, that seems to be it for now kids!


















TIME OUT.




This next section is called
"How you know your a hoe"
If you think it will offend you, then, you dont have to read it. But its actually scary accurate.




HOW YOU KNOW YOUR A HOE

• Your hair is lighter than your skin tone ( excluding albinos.)
• Your EYE MAKE UP is LIGHTER(or metallic) than your skin tone
• Your eye liner looks like it was drawn on with a charcoal  pencil. 
• The cross on your necklace gets lost in your cleavage      
• The eye liner one is the most dependable. The thicker the liner the looser the girl.

So there's that.


Im gonna make another one that is about  things people say that make them look stupid at movie theaters.